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This year.... God seems to want everything from me... It started with my childhood dog... and has moved on to claim the lives of both my grandfathers... I got to spend my christmas break moarning my grandfathers death and going to his funeral... Now I get to start summer going to a service for the one that died last night... (6/11)

What hurts the most...is I have to deal with it alone... There's no one here to hold me or help me through my pain... When I lay down, I begin to cry... I know so many people lose loved ones, and some of you might just be telling me people have it worse then me... but if you were in my place, you'd be in tears despite everything people tell you...

What hurts even more... is that though I just learned about his passing, I will have to get up and live my day like it was nothing when I go to school.. But I know I'll cry... And I know none of my friends will hold me...

Right now, I want a sleeping pill.. Something to put me out of this pain and sorrow I have to feel...

Louis, Gordy... I love you both so much... I know you're still here... but I weep for what distance is now between us... I just wish you I could bring you back... I wish I could stop the pain that cancer had left you in...

I only wish....

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