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I'm Listening To "Pancake Lizard" By Aphex Twin...
I Love This Song.
It's Like It Defines What A Usual Day Of Mine Feels Like,
I Don't Know How, But I Feel Almost Drawn To It.
It's Nice, But Almost Too Mellow.
Like The Song's Bored With Things At The Moment.

I'm Kind Of Let Down.
My Dad Claims To Have Software Installed To Track Everything
I Do, He Seems A Little Bit Paranoid.
I Don't Really Care, Though.
It Brings Up One Harrowing Issue Though,
I Want To Upload My Stories Onto Fanfiction.net
But I Don't Want His Prying Eyes To Read Them,
So It Seems I Have To Go To The Library To Get An Honest
Opinion About Any Of My Stories, And Any Of My Ideas.
I Don't See When I'm Going To Have The Time To Go There,
Anywhere Soon.

So, Leave It To The Millitary To Leave You In Uncertainty.
They've Removed Our "99% Solid" Orders To Italy,
And According To My Mother, We May Be Stationed To Another European Country,
Like Greece Or Spain. I Don't Much Mind Spain, But I Don't Want To Go To Greece.
It Just Seems, Well, Not My Style. I Hear It's Very "Party For Today, Worry For Tomorrow" There. I Don't Like That, Plus It's So Hot And Sunny There. I Want Rain, Fog, Snow And The Works.
Or Perhaps We Won't Move At All, And They Instigate Operation: Send Your Father Away For Two Years.
That Sucks, Either Way.
Admittedly, I'm Somewhat Irritated My Dad Had The Nerve To Ruin My Plan To Write From Home, But I Wouldn't Want Him To Leave, Either.
At First I Might Grin In Revenge, But Gradually, And Gradually I'd Become Bitter And Feel Like I Did When He Went To Korea, Apathetic And Angry.

Off Topic, But I Like To Write About My Random Musings, Too, So Here I Go.
Some Day I'd Like To Be A Regular At A Café.
I'd Be That Guy Who Listens To "Pancake Lizard" On Loop, Sipping Coffee While Scribbling In Notebooks All Day; One Chair Up From The Back-Right.
People Would Come With Small Talk, And I Could Smile At The Simple Things Like The Other People You See From Time To Time.

Also, I Really Want To Talk To My Cousin, Tori.
I Feel I Owe Her So Much.
I Looked At How Rotten Of A Cousin I've Been,
And How Fake I've Been Whenever She's Seen Me.
She's A Delightful Little Girl, Really, And I Felt Bad Looking At What
A Annoyance I Am Whenever She Visits.
In Return, When We Visit, I'm Going To Come Clean With Myself,
And Apologize For My Fakeness, And Just Make Sure She Knows Me For Who I Am.
I Was On A Walk, And I Felt Terrible When That Crossed Me.

More On Such Depression Subjects, Or Something To That Effect,
I Looked Back On How Different I Am Now Than I Was Before.
Have You Ever Done That?
Look Back At How Drastically You've Changed Within Years?
Maybe You Haven't Had A Moment Like That, Or Such A Drastic Change,
But It's Almost Astonishing, And It Make's Me Sadly Ponder Where I Might Be Now Had I Not Been Under The Circumstances I Am Now.
I Remember When I Used To Sit Away From My Family, On An Impulse Because I Just Wanted To Be Alone. I Remember At Least Two Times Where The Thoughts Of Dying Actually Appealed To Me, Because I Wasn't Happy. I Felt Like No One Was Around Me That I Could Relate To, No One With A Faint Smile, Or An Umbrella In The Rain, Or A Hand Held Out To You When You're Down.
I Could Sit Back And Watch Screamers, And Horror Flash Videos Without Flinching.
I'd Sit Back Reading All The Details To "Clockwork Orange", Or "The Exorcist" Because It Appealed To Me. Honestly, I'm Quite A Coward Now...
Now I Look At Myself, And I'm Astonished, Never Would I Think I'd Find Myself Here. Sometimes I Think, Perhaps If I Hadn't Found A Bit Of Happiness In My Friends Here Or Otherwise, I Might Not Be Here Today. I Might Have Ended Up Like Bobby, Dead By My Own Hands.

Now For An Awkward Change Of Subject.
I've Been Drinking More Water.
I Bet Anyone Who Lives With Me Would Scoff,
But I've Drank A Single Small Bottle, And Two Large Ones.
Maybe That's Not All That Much, But I Seriously Can Live Off Soda.
I Can Drink A Single One In Thirty-Eight Seconds.
Maybe If I Stick To Water, And Tea And Such I Can Slim Down,
And Perform Better In Sports.

Speaking Of Sports, I Really Amazed Myself.
I Was All Nervous That I'd Look Stupid Up To Bat,
And I Drew Back And Slugged The Ball.
Usually I Get So Nervous When I Bat In Baseball That I Can't Hit.
But All My Calming Down Worked Great.
I Can Really Play Now. I'm Proud.

I've Been Trying To Get This Jacket To Fade So I Can Wear It On The Last Day Of
School. I Love Wearing Crazy Get Ups For The Last Day of School, But Sadly, If We Stay And Don't Move, I Want A Job. If I Dye My Hair Candy-Pink Or Something This Year, My Chances of Getting Hired Are Shot. Plus, I Don't Know If My Parents Would Go Through The Effort Of Dye-And-Bleaching My Hair, Money And Time, Ya'know?

Last Weeks Of School.
I'm Giddy, Seriously.
But, I'm Worried Too.
I Never Can Draw Like I Do At School During Summer,
It's Always So Disapointing, But Maybe It'll Work Out For Me?
Maybe I Can Be A Regular At The Library, Always Updating My Stories And Such?
That'd Be Kind Of Neat, But Wonderfully Geeky.

I Wish I Saved Some Attention For Endrance...
He's So Eloquent, But I Shelled It All Out On Bo, So
I Have Nothing Left For En-Sama.
Poor Poor Endrance.

I've Totally Got To Send "Nounai Morphine" To Dayne,
I Know He Love Kirito's Voice, So I Bet He'll Like The Song.
Pierrot Rocks Majorly. Kirito Rocks Majorly.
Circus-Noise Rocks Majorly. So Does Macha.
Speaking Of Dayne, He Reccomended An Author To Me, Sarah Dessen.
I Got One Of Her Books, "Someone Like You". I Liked The Theme Of Strength Through Friendship, And The Cover. Maybe It Was A Shallow Choice,
But It's What I Did.

I Was Thinking Of All The Possible Pen-Names I Could Use On Fanfiction.net.
Maybe Like, "Kitty-Ladle"?
No, It's Not Original, "Pocket-Mouse" Or Something.
I Don't Know, Maybe I'll Stick To The Times.

Anyways Thanks For Reading.

-Chalk.

P.S.
-
Anyone Ever Heard Of "An Café"?
I Think It's Also Called "Antic Café".
It's A Band, And They Looked A Bit Like GazettE.
I Wonder How They Are?

P.S.S.
-
Holy Crap, I Followed A Link To Another Reader Of "The Catcher In The Rye"'s Profile, And They Had An Café As A Multimedia.
They Sound More Like Pierrot, But I Like Pierrot, So There.