• The answer is simple and in my best interest to answer honestly
    Yet I lie every time I'm asked.
    I tell them "no" confidently, but in the split second before I answer
    A thousand memories appear.

    I'm sitting in the backseat for the first time
    Several others are around me but I'm fixated on you.
    You've always intrigued me
    But the familiar scent of burning which filled my nose
    Captivated me and added an allure of mystery and attractiveness to you.

    The first time I felt your skin on mine
    I craved it more than anything else,
    And I wondered if you'd be my next form of self-harm.
    The high of a simple touch pushed me to the brink of ecstasy and I never wanted it to end.
    There were too many others around,
    You had too much to drink,
    It wasn't the right time.

    Any time I noticed your absence
    I wished that I was your desire, that craving
    That brought you down to being grounded.
    I wanted to follow you to the cool steps of a winter's day
    And share the warmth of your presence while you inhaled as many toxins as you could.

    The taste of stale ashes and lust on your lips when we first embraced,
    The warmth of your tongue against mine, surprising and inviting.
    I didn't want to come back for air
    But did so I could feel the rush of electricity again.
    So close to pleasure, yet always pulling away.

    So, do I smoke?
    Only to taste your memory.