• Before I lose control,
    I fight back my tears.
    Feeling the stinging behind my eyes,
    Every drop fighting to come out.

    I force myself to swallow the lump in my throat.
    Recompose the façade of a happy girl.
    This fake smile I have perfected,
    I have even convinced myself its real.

    I fight off this urge months at a time,
    Even years.

    But then once all my strength is gone.
    Once every ounce of will I once had is used up
    My tears spill from my eyes,
    Running down my face, dripping on my hands and legs.
    Like rain from the sky they will fall from my eyes.

    Curled up in my corner I let it all out.
    I cry and cry until all the tears have stopped.

    And once they have finally stopped again I will resume my façade.
    There will then be no pain, no anger or sadness.
    No anguishing heart ache,
    Just a numbness that is all to familiar
    A numbness I will welcome with open arms