• It's strange cause I used to think about it over and over in my head I used to think about what I could have possibly done to get in such a bad place in my life.I always came up empty somehow and the math never seemed right but, maybe it's not a bad place.maybe it's a higher level or understanding.I feel like the Lil girl that just found out that Santa doesn't exist and that's a ugly feeling.But, maybe we aren't allowed to believe in other people or mythical creatures.Perhaps we're only allowed to believe in our selves, and when that one day comes it's all to much to handle. Life has been to grow up to fast and for once I felt like a kid again.But, once again another mythical creature exposed, unveiled and made mortal.I had tried so long to pretend that I didn't know this all along and delay inevitable but all attempts came up empty.I have been here before in this exact situation but this time I feel enlightened rather then defeated. I've always seen my self as an independent person, but I look back and see how dependent I had let myself become. However, I am ready to reclaim my independence and rid my self to feel pity. I believe that everything happens for a reason, hope,Kama,and most importantly,I believe in myself. thats all I really needed to believe in.