As the Days Pass On

• Artist: Deadlylight6
• Description: this is not my best, wrote in the dead of night. im still working on it butthe only way to know if i need improvement, i need you, the readers help. i dont care bout rate right now, just comment.
• Date: 05/02/2010
• Tags: days pass

As the days pass on,
Just sitting in my lonely corner
I clean my blades.
With each one swipe of blade
Against cloth I wonder...
Knowing Im not loved nor
Cared for, no one would
Miss a single pathetic, weak,
Vulenurable soul such as I.
Taking the newly cleaned blade,
Gazing upon the reflection of
Sorrowful eyes and lays its point
Upon my heart.
As though time had stopped
This blade never left
Just letting the days pass on

Comments

[Deadlylight6]

thanks Quirk, I'll put that in

[Idiosyncratic Quirk]

M'kay, if I were you. I'd go into detail about the swords qualities. You're talking ABOUT it but I wanna see the gleam of the sword and how it's wielder feels when that ragged cloth shines it to its superior being. Y'know? I want to see the sun rise and fall as the wielder is ever cleaning. You can allude at the loneliness without saying it. It's all the more powerful. Hope I helped.

[Deadlylight6]

okay.....thanks for the good ratings, but i looking for comments! silence doesnt help anyone, especially ME!!