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You don't touch, what you don't see.
You don't hold, what you don't feel.
You don't play, what you don't have.
You don't love, what you don't love.
It felt like a mistake. I was unconsciously falling.
Deeper inside until you caught me at the end of the tunnel.
I realised.
I realised.
And I realised.
A glimpse of two other hands.
You weren't holding me tight enough.
The hatred.
The anger.
Yet you still don't understand.
Doesn't it feel like s**t ?
Quarantined in your own world.
Being watched by 9 pair of eyes.
Voices are screaming at you to stop.
While those voices are echo-ing,
To another person who was sincerely having your back.
Now I don't understand,
I can't seem to get you.
Like a math question unsolved,
'z' and 'x' are suddenly involved.
Someday. We'll see.
Change. You can. You have the will.
It's so hard to glance at you anymore.
And i'm wilted.
Don't break hearts anymore.
You betrayed. Someone who cared deeply enough for you.
- by kileyriley14 |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 05/01/2010 |
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- Title: Wilted :) critiques please
- Artist: kileyriley14
- Description: i need comments :)
- Date: 05/01/2010
- Tags: wilted critiques please
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Comments (2 Comments)
- kileyriley14 - 05/27/2010
- thanks smile
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- Jeyrin - 05/07/2010
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I like it. Some people on gaia are like "I'm not going to make this poem rhyme, because poems don't have to rhyme!" which is all fine and dandy, but poems do have to flow. Your poem flowed very well, and a message came across to me. I like it a lot. 4/5.
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