Ulikely Candies

• Artist: Dephy
• Description: I wrote in for a chain poem in the forums and decided to put it in the arenas :D
  tell me what you think
• Date: 02/19/2010
• Tags: ulikely candies

Unlikely candies, undesirable jewels;
we frame society as half naked fools.
Money tastes sweet to our bitter tasting tongues
and we had so little where we came from.

Among our own we snarl, we glare
but by ourselves we scream out for care.
Our bodies are used and our emotions run astray,
and nobody can ever make it go away.

We are held by chains and the key is lost.
Our home is this Hell in which we were tossed.
Some make it out, some break free,
others are stuck here alone like me.

Heroes can't save us, God can't be real
'cause what kind of god would make a girl bed for a meal?
Unwanted women, slutty right down to our cores,
in the end we are all just

...................................................................whores

Comments

[ekitten614]

I agree with Zurah, you could find some way to connect the first and last stanzas. It's really awesome though, I love it! So true, too.

[Dephy]

lol thanks im not a poet so i didnt expect it to be anywhere NEAR perfect.

[Zurah]

Not awful. Better than most. It wants some streamlining to make the first stanza and the last ones go in similar directions, but it could be worse.