Guilty Pleasure

• Artist: Hamstown
• Description: more from my blog. I didn't edit this, or try to make it better, this is exactly what I was thinking at the time.
• Date: 12/05/2009
• Tags: guilty pleasure

I'm falling fast. this hole becoming more and more inferior.
I'm not even all that afraid of hitting the bottom.
I break, bones shattered, mind is released.

I want to turn off my thoughts
they scream from the pits of hell, the sting in my ears
slowly becoming more inevitable.
oh how I crave an escape.

my nails dig into my skin,
a reminder that I am still here, that I've made it this far.
a minor distraction
a new found guilty pleasure.

I'm no longer the fearless soldier I once strived to be.
I dont trust myself.
I get a sliver, a taste of someone, and I get scared.
in the midst of doing everything I can to preserve the sliver, I demolish it.
this fear has become the sore in my mouth, my tongue unable to avoid it.

a cry for help is useless
when it is unheard
when it is ignored
when it is nothing more than the last cry for help
nothing.

I am slowly, but quickly decaying.
losing every sense of self preservation
every ounce of sanity
every promise of hope

and I fall deeper...