Good Hot Dogs

• Artist: Kimberly12020
• Description:
• Date: 10/12/2009
• Tags: good dogs

Fifty cents apiece To eat our lunch
We'd run Straight from school
Instead if home Two blocks
Then the store That smelled like steam
You ordered Becuase you had the money
Two hot dogs and two pops for here
Everything on the hot dog
Except pickly lily Dash those hot dogs
Into buns and splash on
All the good stuff Yelloe mustard and onions
And french fires piled on top all
Rolled in a piece of wax Paper for us to hold hot
In our hands Quarters on the counter Sit down
Good hot dogs We'd eat Fast till there was nothin left
But salt and poppy seeds even The little burnt tips
Of french fires We'd eat you humming and we swinging
My legs

Comments

[alice_loves_hatter]

This is the only poem, out of the ten or so I've rated so far, that I actually like.
I've got a little question/pointer here though; where you've capitalised random words, did you mean to put emphasis on those particular words?
Because a better, clearer way of doing that is to put a line break... Don't feel you have to type full sentences to each line, you can have single words on a line if they're important!
So yeah, I really really like this.