how can i?

• Artist: blackcloud711
• Description: i geuss its more of a peom then a song,
  but i wrote the first part as a song so. . .
  
  just tell me what u think
  okay?
• Date: 08/26/2009
• Tags:

people tell me that they care
but they don't see whats out there.
people tell me that they know
how it fells to be alone.
they tell me what they need
to make them feel free.

my bestfriend told me just trust
but how can after whats shes done?
my mother told me i could tell her everything
but how can i tell her what he did to me?
gavin asked me why i looked depressed
but i wonder would he understand?

but i wish i could stop the lies
but then there would be no me.
i wish i could say i'm sorry,
but i don't think they would believe me.
i wish gavin would listen when i say i love you,
but he tells me no,no lOove.
i wish my so-called friends would talk to me,
or at least have said goodbye.

but somthings just stay a dream.

Comments

[blackcloud711]

well i redid the last part,
and i think i like it more this way

[blackcloud711]

thanks ling

[transiti0n]

I'm no critic so I'll give two things. Criticism and Comments
Criticism first. I'm not hating, I'm trying to help :O
It's interesting really but theres many typos and I don't understand why its called How Can I? I think you need to put more detail in it and punctuation it ! Because sometimes you lose me there but I understand the meaning.
Comments x) ; I really liked it nonetheless~ It had deep meaning. But I do honestly understand what its like. Keep going!