• From Courage to Confidence
    by,
    (c) Bbear
    7/7/09

    Heart beat racing, palms clammy, unsteady breath, body shaking.
    I slowly walk up to the microphone, hands gripping the song lyrics.
    “I need to hear your voice and your voice only,” my teacher says
    When I ask if someone could sing with me.
    With all their eyes on me,
    My face turns bright crimson
    And I feel as though I will cry.
    The music starts;
    I can barely get the words out loud enough for anyone to hear.
    “Got to be organized
    I am so organized
    And I know parliamentary procedure.
    I was born for government
    I should be your president.
    I am quite the natural born leader.”
    Finally the song ends, I quickly return to my place against the wall
    And sigh with great relief.
    Nobody seemed to laugh or make fun of me.
    Maybe singing in front of everyone isn’t so bad after all.

    September comes around.
    It is time for auditions again.
    My heart is beating as if a boy I really liked
    Just kissed me for the first time.
    My voice is steadier,
    And my body only trembles a little bit.
    “Gotta keep on reaching for a higher ground…”
    I don’t feel like I will cry,
    My cheeks flush just to a rosy shade.

    Spring; Academy On Tour auditions approach.
    I have to sing, dance, and perform a monologue.
    My dancing is my strongest; my teacher knows this about me.
    So my challenge is the monologue and singing
    Alone I can get the notes out quite well,
    But in front of others my voice still quivers.
    “Yes! - it was such an operation,
    Forever paying every due.
    Hell, you made a sensation,
    You found a way through…”

    I made it! I am in Academy on Tour!
    And I find enough guts to sing in the big musical.
    Although my nerves still challenge me,
    I am gaining confidence.

    Junior year, there’s a whole new show. I get the part I want
    I wear a mic the whole time on stage.
    You can hear MY voice during every song
    I smile when I sing, and I mean it.
    Now, I am singing more solos – by myself!
    “Calenders turn and some
    Lessons are learned
    Only one things’ returned if you’ve grown
    The weight off your shoulders
    A calm hand to hold and
    Wanting the blessings you already own.”