• `I wake up, a new day awaits.
    I think inside my head.
    But were there should be excitment, there is confusion instead.
    For you see, my heart is a battleground. And neither side will yield.
    Perhaps it is something that I made up, just to be my shield.

    There is one that I love, but 'she' is far away.
    I have told 'her' not to call me, for while she is away.

    I will see another, one I am uncertain about.
    I smile when I see her, but then my heart will shout.
    But I cannot hear it, for instead of shouting,
    I hear the sounds of battle, too loud to hear it.

    She will come to me today, and so I will rejoice.
    Far from 'her' I will do things, I would not do otherwise.

    So today I met her, and we both rejoice.
    For she has brought many things, some she does not know.
    She brings me joy, care and things. All of which she knows.
    She also brings confusion, and ignites the fires of war deep within my heart, they rage unknown. But

    perhaps she knows that too, but conceals fires of her own.

    The meal she made me is done, and very greatful am I.
    For while the cats are away the mice will play. And so we do just that.
    We snuggle and we cuddle, far from 'her' eyes.
    But as the cats return, the mice decide to leave.
    And so we go, to the mall, and a movie soon.
    But there are clouds overhead, and so I return home.
    I retrieve my umbrella, dodging the cats questions.
    I use his name instead of hers, that of an old friend's.
    But I could not bare to tell them, lest 'she' learns too.

    We arive at the mall, and as we walk it through.
    I think, 'We must look like a couple. Her and I together'
    'She' would not aprove, should 'she' be here.
    But I could not help myself, for I would fear.
    A year holds 'us' together, distance holds 'us' apart.
    Knowing this I ignore my caution, and so I flirt.
    Through my heart, I feel fear. Like 'her' eyes were on me.
    But through this I feel love, is this how she makes me feel?
    If our hearts are connected, then 'she' must know, that our relationship is fruitless.
    But I push my feelings aside as we head for the movies.

    We see a movie I thought I'd like, a favorite series, a new movie.
    A blend of old and new.
    Although she's seen it, she goes with me. She must want to be with me.
    I turn my phone to vibrate, and then my old friend calls.
    He asks me silly questions and expects answers, so I hang up instead.
    Halfway through the movie my phone vibrates yet again, and I fear to check.
    To reach in my pocket would be a gamble, to bring it out could mean death.
    For I know it could be his name, asking more questions.
    But then again, it could be 'her' picture, and I know.
    Her eyes will see the lighted screen, bringing questions of our own.
    "Why am I here with him if there is a third?"
    "What if 'she' knew?"
    "If I answered, would I tell her? Would this be a date or just a show?"

    The movie ends greatly, I clap and I know.
    'This is the end of the day, both her and I know'
    We walk through the mall, a couple yet again.
    She starts to call her dad, for it is cold, rainy and dark. And a ride would be nice.
    But I offer her my jacket, and wouldn't accept many, "No's"
    I walk her home just like that, my jacket on her under my umbrella.
    My thought before crosses my head again, 'We must look like a couple'
    I wonder if she thinks the same thing, walking here with me.
    Did we just go on a date? Or is 'she' still inbeween us.

    We make it to her house, and there on the road.
    We take note that her parents are home, light shining out the window.
    As we embrace my mind races, throughts in my head.
    Could I use my umbrella as a shield? So her parents could not see?
    In the shadow I could do what I please, to steal a kiss from her.
    Still embraced, my mind still races, and no decision comes.
    I bid her farewell, and start to walk home. I feel numb.
    The first feeling comes quickly, my jacket but her warmpth.
    But the rest are unknown, for a battle rages.
    Deep within my heart. I am reminded that I am unsure.
    Even if my heart could speak, I couldn't hear, the battle is too loud.
    Although right now I know which side is winning, and I am glad.
    But could I let it? Would it work? Nothing can be said.

    As I walk home numb, I feel nothing anymore.
    Her warmpth is gone, but cold does not come. Nor wet nor fear.
    I feel fear soon, as a dog approches, but its soon replaced with sadness.
    For I know this dog has no home, this collie without a master.
    It follows me, begging for a home out of the rain.
    I say no, tell it to go, knowing it has no place in my heart.
    For my heart is a battleground.

    I walk to the bus stop, now thinking in my head.
    'Was the dog a sign from God? What does this mean?'
    I call out my question as headlights streak by.
    But no answer comes, so I continue my cold path.


    I arrive at the stop, the bus picks me up, a familiar face at last!
    For this bus driver has driven me home safely many times in the past.
    I take my seat and begin to think what I will do.

    As I go home I flip up my phone. I told 'her' I would call her.
    What do I tell her I did today? What name should I use?
    I shall use my old friends name, and substitute hers for his.
    For my heart is a battleground, and I can let neither side win.
    For with victory also comes grief, and none can be spared.
    Am I in love with her or 'her'? I do not know.
    I will show her first, and 'her' never. That is all I know.