Sonnet

• Artist: KiyokoBunny
• Description: This is an Elizabethan sonnet I wrote, I hope you like it :) My teacher gave me a C on it so hopefully someone can tell me why. It doesn't really have a title...
• Date: 06/18/2009
• Tags: sonnet

My heart cries out to thee in the moonlight
My eyes promise that close to you I'll be
And my tears scatter away all the frights
The puddle they make keep you close to me
Although this night may be blacker than black
And the sky above may stand in our way
We will keep the wind and waves at our backs
And climb into a new dream without delay
Our way may be eternally unkind
Our dreams always on the edge of despair
To our future we are terribly blind
And now the troubles we may have to bear
But even as the way is though as stone
Hand in hand, you will not be left alone

Comments

[Yan Qi]

It's pretty good! The only thing I see could be wrong with it is the fact that it's not written in iambic pentameter and the fact that it doesn't have a twist. A "C" seems harsh! What grade are you in?

http://www.gaiaonline.com/arena/writing/poetry-and-lyrics/vote/?entry_id=101876419#title#title