• History, Oh History, how he can warp you so!
    I used to think you were fascinating
    With wars from terrible tyrants
    To songs of glory and fame
    You were the greatest subject
    In the tedious school day

    Then you met your match
    When HE showed up to teach
    He reduced your bloody wars of glory
    Into boring dates and written essays
    Your famous songs disintegrated into random quizzes

    How I wish to have you back
    The entertaining dialog
    What happened to the witch trials?
    Did they simply go up in smoke?
    We haven’t even mentioned them
    Just boring dates and dead presidents
    Have we gone over

    He has made my love of the past
    Into a burning passion of despair
    I hate him more than hate can cover
    He is the devil of history
    And cannot fail to make it dull
    History, Oh History, how he can warp you so!