The Ocean

• Artist: Strwberry Mew Ichigo
• Description: I went to CA a few days ago and I came up with this poem. So please coment and say how it is.
• Date: 03/30/2009
• Tags: ocean

The Ocean is a big vast place
The waves seem to pace,
As they crach to the beach and into eachother
But the thing is the ocean will never get smoother.
It will never feel as soft as silk, fur, or cloth,
The ocean is a place where you will never find a moth.
The blue is a shade you can not capture
A shade you can not descride with toung until the rapture.
I thank God for the ocean
I can tell he gave such devotion.

Comments

[Kimberly Adams]

Hate to be a hard critic, Ichi, but you've got a couple lines that are kind of weird. The feeling line, the moth line, they're pretty odd. More spelling errors. The rhythm is messed up for a rhyming poem.

[GAlA Site Assistant 60]

awww sweet but on the top ocean you spelled it wrong but nevermind about that 4 stars