- Oh shining sun! Your radiance unsurpassed! Shining nearly effort less! keeping warm the planets around, turning, turning, round and round. Earth, comets, you've seen them all, time has passed but you're still around. Long from now, you'll see us go, burning, burning fireball.
- by maximaneffort |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 03/28/2009 |
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- Title: The Sun
- Artist: maximaneffort
- Description: A poem about the sun. Please vote!
- Date: 03/28/2009
- Tags: fireball
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Comments (1 Comments)
- cooll666725 - 03/30/2009
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It has good rhythm, but I think it would be better if you spaced it like this:
"Oh shining sun!
Your radiance unsurpassed!
Shining nearly effortless!"
As a poem writer myself take my word for it, you have a good rhythm. I just think your mechanics could be better. I'll give it a 3/5. - Report As Spam
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