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for ever in darkness
with no where to roam
surrounded by the heartless
always all alone
her nightly cries
go unheard
she eventually dies
a grounded bird
her heart beats on
her soul unforgiving
though shes long gone
shes still among the living
in sin she is bathed
she lives in vain
no one can save
her from eternal pain
- by bluebird94 |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 01/11/2009 |
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- Title: Eternal Pain
- Artist: bluebird94
- Description: um.....is dis ameatur? but im gettin better.........in my eyes atleast. plz comment and when i become awesome, i will owe it to ur comments! :D
- Date: 01/11/2009
- Tags: eternal pain bluebird
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Comments (3 Comments)
- Deadlylight6 - 08/12/2009
- now tell me, why should anyone stick with any one style of writing? there is nothing wrong with rhyming, or not to rhyme. many times i rhyme in the start but then dont near the end and such. no one should be tied down to one style. this is a very good poem and i enjoyed it
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- onionio - 01/12/2009
- You do have pretty awesome skills. The only thing i can suggest is work on rythem. That seems to be a problem many poets have. Also, extra credit for not writing your poem in txt tlk!
- Report As Spam
- Brain shooting Blanks - 01/12/2009
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oh my god
stunning
i loved the grounded bird part
tahts some incedible poetry skills you have there
this is seriously the best poem i have seen in a long long time
i love it
5 stars - Report As Spam
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