Titled to flood

• Artist: iiTorture
• Description: Uhm something That came off the top of my mind everything thats been on my mind it might not make sense but its my mind so it doesnt have to.
• Date: 12/30/2008
• Tags: titled flood

Ok so my mind is cheated.
Your warth is heated.
I know you loved me but you loved her two.
I really felt and loved for you
She was such a whore now ive been cheated on 2x4
Do the math its probaly more
Your such a cheater.
I was the apple you where the core
I got eaten and you stayed in the trash
Now my heart is very sore
You made a promise you wouldnt cheat i swear you swore
You were the core i was the apple
Now my mind is flooded with tears
i may explode my tissue is a tear overload
You were the core i was the apple

Comments

[Self Tragedy]

I like it. Like you said only one spelling mistake, but besides that, it's very good! 5/5! ^^

[iiTorture]

Umm it doesnt really rhyme that much and their is only one spelling mistake so i would try to be a little bit less harsh on something you know nothing about plus its my thoughts and feelings they could rhyme if i want them to jeesh

[i_hate_kung_fu_frogs]

way too many spelling mistakes. and the rhyming thing is a bit much...

[iorekbyrnison]

You should really fix your grammar and spelling errors and check carefully before you post. I know poetry is all about artistic expression so the rules on grammar are a bit lax, but your poem would be better received. Also, not all poems have to rhyme. You would get your message across better if you wrote your poem like you naturally speak. Trying to find words that rhyme and fit your meaning rarely ever add to the reader's pleasure and understanding. Otherwise, you'd have a decent poem.

[iiTorture]

Comment me^^