this is love x

• Artist: chanteyd
• Description: This is a poem i wrote, it had a tune, so some parts don't quite make sense!
• Date: 12/01/2008
• Tags: love

One day I wrote on the top of my hand, your name and mine all entwined
They joined together like it was meant to be
Forever and ever everyone will see,
That you and me are supposed to be together
People say that love is hunger, an everlasting need,
I can say, yeah I can say, I am hungry no more
Coz I have found the love that I need
And its in my heart
Yeah its in my heart
And you, are the one, they only one I need
Coz you make me feel, so good.
XXX

Comments

[r e v i v e - d e a t h]

It's nice. I'm very intrigued by some of your word choices, but I have a few comments.

1) I'd like to point out that poems are made of stanzas. I saw many points where you could have started another.
2) Spelling. It's a bit strange when people don't spell out words fully. 'Coz' could have easily been changed to 'because', and if not that, a simple change to ''cause' would have lifted it more.