Autum

• Artist: November blues
• Description: My first time please don't be harsh on the critisizm
• Date: 11/22/2008
• Tags: myfirstpoem

Autum looms like quickly in the night
the moon shines and the wolves howl in flight.

Looking afar seeing the mountains stands so stong and proud
in contrast to the wind whom runs merriily and freely.

I walk forwards towards the shadows were peace of mind is always found
feeling at peace yet troubled by my helplessnes unalbe to aid those so close.

Melancholy creeping up my back towards my heart I think of my famiy so loving and caring
though I am so close to them I feel so far away.

Hoping for life of exitment and danger but the feeling of losing someone would knaw away at me like swords in my heart.

Stalking the shadows in search of peace looking to mother nature as feeling so sentimental
I march on in search of peace of mind, body and soul

Comments

[The Sly]

I know peoms dont have to rhyme, but there always better when they ryhme. Again, yes spelling. You must check that to make other people understand what your talking about.

[November blues]

uhh.....Thanks My spellings kind a needs brushing up and my spell check doesn't work so sorry (>_< wink but still thanks you and really don't be shy and put some comments on I'll admit this is kind of bad poetry.

[Septembers sun]

It's ok,but I think you rushed typing it up.
If you took your time,it will be much better.
Oh and Sayly,it was his first time so give him some slack!
You keep criticizing them poem.

[September feild]

That's a great poem...but,you should really go over your next poem...
there was a lot of spelling mistakes... smile
As for the Sayly person(That name is not even a word,yet you keep bombarding him with his spelling mistakes,no offense November...how mean)Really.Be kind to him...

[TheresaGoeSRawR]

very dark...kinda. but awesome for your first time!!!

[Overworkedandunderpaid]

You spelled Autumn wrong. You spelled Merrily wrong. You rhymed the first two lines but no the second two. No rhythm. Spelled excitement wrong. Spelled gnaw wrong.

Other than all that it was okay. If I could I'd give you a one and a half, that's being generous. As it is, I'll give you two.

I don't think the title was appropriate for that 'poem', think of something else.

Learn about spell check, it could really help you in the future *sarcasm*.

[November blues]

Hello please feel free to post something here about my thing that I made so as long as its not mean (thing because I don't know what I should put it as lol)