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My ears ring with the swell
And fall
Swell
Fall
Echoing through the night
Wailing to one pitch
Or another
Dropping down
To almost a whisper
And I hope that it will stop
And my own heart pounds to the rhythm
When the howl starts again
Sounding from between unseen fangs
Beneath glowing yellow eyes
And hard shining fur
Ribs stained red like a crucifix
And rolling black talons
And flashing blue and red wings
That sever the black
With cold
Screaming along a stretch of black
The sound is an eerie green
Rising
Like heat
But far less comforting
Settling an icicle
Or perhaps a frozen slug
In the marrow of my bones
One to seep through
And chill
From the inside
Tragedy runs in packs
Hellhounds
- by Arille_Levalla |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 10/29/2008 |
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- Title: Ambulance
- Artist: Arille_Levalla
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Description:
Apparently in my city, ambulances/emergency vehicles like to travel in pairs, or in threes, or perhaps even packs. For some reason, the sound of them all wailing together sends a shiver down my spine. I figured maybe writing something about it would make them freak me out less
:sweat: The first version rhymed and sort of had a rhythm, but I liked this one better. Which isn't saying much since this one is massive fail... - Date: 10/29/2008
- Tags: hellhound ambulance emergency eerie
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Comments (2 Comments)
- RedWhiteBlack - 10/29/2008
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This one poem is a fresh of breath air. Great job.
Though, I have a few constructive criticisms to offer:
1. It would have been nice to have the hound metaphor run all the way through it.
2. Your turn (or twist) seems to be backwards - you should run with a wolf metaphor at the beginning, and then reveal at the end that they're ambulances.
But otherwise, great job. It's nice to see an open form poem on Gaia. ^_^ - Report As Spam
- allisun1 - 10/29/2008
- OMG! loved it!!!!! sent chills down MY spine!
- Report As Spam