_death_

• Artist: Agony of Cynicism
• Description:
• Date: 10/03/2008
• Tags: death

Count the graves,
Beheld on both sides of the battle lines,
See the pain, The sorrow
Of families torn apart by death,
Hear there cries, there screams of agony of the
People dying alone in the dust,
Wonder why,
Such pain could be allowed in the world that there so called god made,
Feeling the tears, roll down there blood stained skin
Wept silently by those who remain,
Dream of life,
Before the camps, the fire, the cold,
Try to know,
Terror they faced, forgotten by all,
That Understand,
Those who were killed committed no crime.

Comments

[Your_cydni]

I think its pretty good =)

[Hasani Khulu]

I counted one grammar error. Also, the longer lines were a bit overbearing to read when compared to the others. Try to shorten those down so that the reading flows better.

Example:
"Such pain,
Could be allowed,
In a world,
That their God made."