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Heart torn into two
With mind unbearable,
This choice must be made
You’ve made it clear,
Which path I choose
Is still undecided,
Clam days, warm nights
Mean nothing
Without the sincerity
Of your love
Harsh rains, frosted hilltops
A lovely place,
Yet something strange howls
In every bone chilling windstorm,
This path yet undecided
Haunts my dreams
Every night that I don’t know you
- by shadow11391 |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 08/06/2008 |
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Comments (3 Comments)
- NakedJack - 12/26/2008
- The rest of my comment was cut off :O. That was all the helpful stuff > sad To sum it up, check list of the learned stuff, components of poetry like which "person" its written in (you switch from 2nd to first, which wasn't that big of a deal, sense it was at the 5th line). Well done emotion, metaphor/similes, and descriptive(most important parts in my opinion)
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- NakedJack - 12/26/2008
- Well written love poem (all call a poems to do with one's "heart" a love poems, favorite love poem btw, Tool's "Stink Fist" wink Sounds like you want romance in your life. You are fine where you are at yet empty and cold is it with out that someone. Heart torn in 2 places sounds like you have met not one but 2 people you want to be with, and you can't decide which one. First line could be better, "into two" "in two" same thing. With min
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- KillJoy Kitten - 08/07/2008
- first
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