• I see the images in my dreams
    i don't know what they mean
    they're there all the time
    but to me they're blurrier than time
    i see different colors
    varied across my mind
    tempting taste scurries in my thoughts
    i dream of few things
    so rare but hurtful
    suicide runs through my veins
    i wish to not be apart of it
    but still it persists to exist
    my mind can't think no more
    the dreams are keeping me from living
    i want to fly but i can only cry
    why are these dreams apart of me
    i don't want to dream
    not of war
    not of suicide
    or even of my father
    my memory is reflecting my past
    none of which i want to know
    i want to cast them away
    but i have no powers
    there's a light that guides me
    darkness lies within
    it shades itself among lamps
    and rugs
    my tampered mind too
    i want to sing
    but all i can do is scream
    i clutch at my skin
    i feel the tempting nail
    dig deep within
    making me bleed
    wanting to scream
    but still i lay there
    scratching myself
    with only myself and my dreams
    nothing to keep me occupied
    my dreams consume me
    my thoughts engulf me
    why do i sense these things
    my arms are hurting
    my nail carving me
    why must i be like this
    this pain its me
    only me not you or anyone else
    why do i do this
    i just don't understand
    i want to feel my heart beat
    i want to feel the cool night air
    but i just feel my pillow
    and my rough blankets in remedy