Cutting free

• Artist: androgynous pygmalion
• Description: This poem has a whole story behind it. But the story is too long to post it here, in this little space, so read it and create your own interpretation...
• Date: 07/17/2008
• Tags: death love hate

I'll end the pain
I'll cut myself free
The vein of life
Ripped open to see
If the pain I feel
Finally released
Will take me to death
To bed the devil and kill the angel
And be free of the promise
You broke, I broke
The kiss that caused all this
A final trial will see
And the hurt I feel
Will say goodbye with tears
Goodbye my love, goodbye my hate.

Comments

[Kitsune_Chibi_madness]

i think it was beautiful, lord_aubrey_shade- has a point about the rhyming, also a little things didn't make sense to me i still liked it!!

[Lord_Aubrey_Shade]

(READ NEXT COMMENT FIRST)
... the last word of the line and the first word of the next line.
Though probably the most obscure line in the poem, I like the line "To bed the devil and kill the angel", though less obscurity would be nice. And I like the lines with repetition: "You broke, I broke", and "Goodbye my love, goodbye my hate."
On the last line I would actually suggest a simple "Goodbye my love, my hate."

[Lord_Aubrey_Shade]

A little unclear in some lines, such as "To bed the devil and kill the angel." Also, are you rhyming, or aren't you? If you choose a form, stick to it; if not, beware of starting up a rhyme and rythm and then abandoning it. This makes for a difficult reading of the poem.
Also remember that when you break a line in the middle of the sentence it puts emphasis on words that wouldn't be emphasized if it were just a straight sentence. The words that gain emphasis from a line break are...

[X_star lover_X]

wow... great poem

[vampiress45]

I don't really believe in people cutting themselves
and the poem didn't seem very clear to me.......

[miss_confused_heart]

i love this one!

[Secret Agent Cookie]

Wow...

Beautiful xDDD