Blessing

• Artist: magikhawk
• Description: my mind wanted to fly so im going to let it. this will probably be raw and less than my best work, but my best work doesnt meet human eyes anyways.
• Date: 07/16/2008
• Tags: angst

Cant you see how they look at us?
telling us they are the ones to trust
cant you tell what i see
what they want you to do to me?
my heart races my pulse beats hard in my neck
excited, painful, i become a wreck
don't let them hurt me, i whisper to you
and then i realize your answers not true
you think your always right?
that everything is my fault, each fight
but you don't know what I've gone through
how much i spent keeping the worst from you
don't let anyone tell you i didn't care
don't let them say i don't try
to keep us together, you and i
you will never see what you have done
but you should know my nightmares just begun
i'm in pain, being destroyed, the inside out
but i shut my eyes, hiding my doubt
because what i did was right
you can now be embraced by the light
while i hide in the shadows never seen again
just love the life ive blessed you with my friend

Comments

[Alexzan]

A bit loose, but still pretty cool. The message was strong and hits hard.

[mq90x9p]

i dunno, it made sense to me--i liked it! smile

[Ryan Russell]

Well, I can tell that your mind was wandering a bit when you wrote this, which is typically not the best way to write a poem.
Its best to keep poetry centered around a single idea or concept, giving the reader a growing knowledge of the subject, rather than jumping back and forth and leaving them confused. (No hate for honesty, I hope)