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Hello? Hello? Is anybody there?
Is there anybody who will help me?
Help! Help! I need you!
Why? Why won’t you answer me?
Did I do something wrong?
Help! Help! Answer me! Please!
I’m shattering… breaking…
- by Nami Kiasu |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 05/07/2009 |
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- Title: a call for help
- Artist: Nami Kiasu
- Description: yah... you no what, i don't know why i did this. but really, do i have to have a reason? anywayz... please comment and rate! dont be mean, i already know im the worst poet ever... lol
- Date: 05/07/2009
- Tags: call help namikiasu random
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Comments (7 Comments)
- fasya91 - 05/22/2009
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i like the part
" i'm shattering... breaking..."
such sad drama. - Report As Spam
- hikari megumi 15 - 05/21/2009
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whaoh, so...scary....
good freestyle. smile 4/5 - Report As Spam
- firetasteslikebacon - 05/20/2009
- What is exactly going on here? Did someone die, break your heart, what? Show me what is happening. If you can show what your readers what is happening I think that the poem would improve. I do like the repetition that you have with the Hello?, and Help! Although I think you should get rid of the first session of "Help! Help!" and replace it with something else like "Hurry! Hurry! I need you!" I'm giving a 2/5
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- CrAzY_RuZzO - 05/19/2009
- you did great with that
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- x-J3NNi3 - 05/18/2009
- 5/5 biggrin good job!
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- Sin Avarice - 05/16/2009
- It was good, but the pattern wasn't very continuous. And the climax was reached suddenly, like someone going 70 mph and then hitting the breaks. O.o .... ANYWAYS! xD Um, it's a good poem! If ya brush it up a little, it'd b 5-5! Alas, I can only give it 3-5.
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- Chocolate_craze1379 - 05/14/2009
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i acually like it
alot at that
smile
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