The Last Night

• Artist: KingBet
• Description: When I wrote this poem I was in a particularly good mood so don't think its something really dark. I intended for this poem to have multiple meanings and interpretations so before you rate it I suggest reading it a second time to make sure you got everything and also try to tie the poem in with the title ;)
  Thanks for reading ^.^
• Date: 06/02/2010
• Tags: last night

The Last Night:

You'll realize how i lived.
What i said,
and what i did.

So let us be alone.
Let us stay awake and chat.
Tell everyone to leave,
and I'll meet you in the back.

Your smile has torn my world apart.
Your grand radiance, it warms my heart.
Demons from our past lay limp,
the way you laugh is proof of this.

So don't worry now while i lay my head upon your lap.
Our time today may be our last.
You rub my hair with gentle ease and care.
I start to dream knowing that I'll see you there...

Comments

[Polly Odd]

I really like it~ The only flaw I see is the grammar. I really enjoy how your words flow and create an image. This is a beautiful poem~ Look me up sometime and rate mine? <3

[out of controll]

followed the link in your siggy...and as a fellow poet, i have to give you props for your gift with words

[silvershadowedwings]

adorable, why can't there be more creative minds like you?

[II schizophrenic II]

this is so cute ^-^ love it razz

[2pound]

this one is better than the last one i commented on; you actually summon the help of metaphors and imagery; and there's feelings conveyed! but this poem could still go for another look under the lens: some fat words (words you don't need/get in the way of flow), some abstractions/vagueness, some cliches. overall, a solid 2/5.

[Nikita Shiro]

wonderful poem. i wish i could write like this.

[KingBet]

np
-^^-