• ah i feel like iv been going crazy lately....the stress from school is horible. im only in 9th grade! to think that its only going to get worse makes me just wanna shoot myself...also a bad thing today, is i have never doubted my faith in jesus so much, ya im christian, i dont go to church or pray before meals but i try to be nice and stuff. but we watched a video on the islamic religion in social studys and well their religion makes alot of sence. it was mostly about the journy to Mecca, or Mekka im not sure how to spell it.....and theres this guy i like, Alex, he keeps sitting in different spots im starting to think maby he just doesnt really like me. does he think im weird? he asked me if i though he was weird and i told him that im sorta weird myself and i dont really judge people in terms of weirdness. but maby hes bored of me, maby he thinks im boring and that maby im too quiet...or maby he thinks im just ugly. i weigh 135 pounds! im like a cow, iv been eating so much less lately but its not helping i dont know how to make it all go away...i also thought maby he thinks that i stink so i started using body spray but that hasent had any affect...but im sure he likes me he say i remind him of a dove, im sure i blushed when he said that... im so lost! im useless with boys, i never had a boyfriend in real life because i beleived in one thing and one thing only. Love only leads to heart break. i always though it would be too much of a burden on me everyday to worry, how do i look? will he like it? does he think im fat? is my hair ok? i dont do much with my hair i bruck it out spray some defrizzer put on a bit of coverup and im good. i almost never were make up. i think i look fine without it... i try to go natural lol. i told him that i never had a boyfriend but he said that he didnt beleive me. i have no idea were im going! its like wondering through the minotaurs laberinth with out any idea were you are or any idea of any kind of way out. i have to go...i hope one of the few people that reads this can help me out a bit, no A LOT. bye...