- well today i missed school....i lied and said i was sick, and now well i feel really guilty... mostly the reason why is cause last year i was late and absent from school a total of 70 times and was one absence away from going to juvie. and this year i have been late 2 times only because i forgot to reset my alarm. agh i feel horible...now i know i wont be able to shake this feeling for the rest of the weekend. but on the up side i get to go to a Sea Hawks game on sunday, i dont understand football but i still cant wait! i was also thinking. like i have so many things i want to say to my friends at school, like how i couldnt find my socks this morning, or last night i was playing Red Dead Redemtion and my horse jumped off a cliff, but it just dawned on me. No matter how much i wish and hope that they will care about what i have to say they just wont care. and so after that i think "well now what?" cause' besides that i have nothing els to say, and it just goes to show how incredibly sad and lifeless my life really is. i just wish there was at least one person i could talk to that would care and listen to what i want to say. my life is one big huge crash and burn, i feel so proud and happy one day, then one little thought sends the rest of my week in a downward spiral. life is so...hard. like every day i work so hard to be aproved of, then at the end of the day it doesnt matter anymore. all the work i did that day just gets whisked away and im on to another tiresome day of sweat and toil but at the end of it all it will be for nothing, just one big waste of my time. then i just want to die, but then i start to think "what about all the time i have spent laughing, and all the times i have enjoyed?" and i realise at that moment if i do die, all the good that i did end up doing will be a waste along with all the work. so what am i to do? so many little things playing with my mind...gosh, i never really thought of things that way, like what i just wrote was an apiphany writen out as it happened...i have never done that before! and now i feal proud of myself. that brings me to another thought. this one day this girl that sits next to me, every time i think of this day it makes me smile...i was drawing and she passed me a note saying "your really good at drawing people." and i just felt sooo happy, that just made my day. and the next she told me i have pretty eyes, then the same day at lunch somebody asked me if i curled me hair(which i dont its naturaly curly" then said "well i just asked cause' your hairs' really pretty." then when i got home i was just beeming with joy and pride. i felt like flying! i gots to go, i would say more but for one im really tired and two i dont have more to say so ya...please comment, the little things you say make so much of a difference to me!
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