-
The Music Box
A poor, young girl lives with her mother by the hillside. This girl, while playing with her doll in her cozy little room, brushing her long, silky silver hair, while listening to her sweet music from her music box. That music box was given to her by her grandmother who passed away years ago. Most of the time her mother would go to work, until one day an accident occurred and led the old woman to her last breath. After the accident the girl is always alone and locks herself in her tiny room playing and listening to her music box. A few years have past since the accident now the girl is a teenager, living alone in her tiny cottage, listening to her sweet melody. She is now a lot happier to find her love. Decades have past and the little girl is now a grandmother, she gave the music box to her granddaughter and told her not to loose it, always listen to it and never give up hope. Now its has bees 89years since the girl died and the music box is still playing its sweet, sweet melody.
- by holy_angel_of_doom |
- Non Fiction
- | Submitted on 08/19/2008 |
- Skip
- Title: the music box
- Artist: holy_angel_of_doom
- Description: a little story i wrote (the third one) if you guys have time plzz read my other stories and plzz comment it ok thxx
- Date: 08/19/2008
- Tags: musicbox
- Report Post
Comments (4 Comments)
- Blonde Boi33 - 03/19/2009
- WHAT THE ********/>
- Report As Spam
- (v)orbid.Angel - 12/30/2008
-
Wow, this really sucked.
1) It wasn't put in the right area.
2) You have sentence fragments.
3) The story changes tense almost constantly.
4) You don't give as much detail in parts where you need to, and then in parts that don't matter you give too much detail.
Try again. - Report As Spam
- MissDarlingDeath - 08/25/2008
- pretty good, but it belongs in fiction.
- Report As Spam
- captain sexy12 - 08/19/2008
- i realy realy realy like it
- Report As Spam