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"Hi"
"Hi" you replied back to me.
It all started in towns, you caught my eye and told myself, Let's try talking to this guy...
I introduced myself to you and you did the same. I found out every single thing you like and realized that we have tons in common. In less that 24 hours, I fell for you. I know it is weird, but I felt the deep connection between us and you always make me happy.
A few days later you asked me to be your girlfriend. Being head over heels on you, I agreed. But four days after that you told me you wanted to be alone first.
I felt that pinch in my heart. But I gave you what you wanted because I respect your decision.
After that we are still friends and I got to know him better, I fell for him deeper. I found out that you have everything I want in a guy. Smart, funny, romantic, sweet, kind. I could list more but it would probably take up more than a whole page.
We were so close to each other that I trusted you with my secrets and that you trusted me with yours, too. I love you and I felt that you did too.
Until one day we were flesh to flesh, we made love. I fell deeper for you. For more months we flirted with each other.
But you didn't know I was risking my life for you. My parents banned me from using my computer but I defied them just to be with you. When I went overseas for a vacation, I woke up 3 in the morning, just to be with you.
For months I kept doing that in order to be with you because I love you. I risked everything for you. My parents found out I that I was defying them. Fortunately they did not found out about you, I was so relieved.
Despite of my parents busting me, I still continued to risk. They grounded me for eight times. But it didn't matter because I love you and I would risk everything for you.
Seven months after our break-up you asked me to be with you again. The answer was obvious, yes I agreed. Those were the most happiest moments of my life, when I could finally call you mine.
But of course we didn't last very long. Another girl broke up apart. She loved you too. But you didn't want her, you wanted me. But she was successful to break us apart. She told you sweet little lies about me.
When you found out the truth,the real truth that she was lying, you came back to me. You apologized and asked me back. The answer was not the same this time, I refused.
I felt that we have been on and off for quite a few times already. I tried to move on and find some other guy. I did and I sort of like him. But every night it was not about him I think of, it was you.
It puzzled me. I tried to fit the pieces together. I realized that I only like him. Whereas, I love you.
You knew I have a boyfriend, you said you were happy for me. But I knew you didn't. I love you but I kept it to myself.
But in all of a sudden, I was cheating on my boyfriend with you. Since then I never had a boyfriend. I wanted one but the one was you.
You had a few girlfriends after me. It shattered my heart into billions of pieces. You don't know how I coped with it. You didn't know how many hours I've cried, I cried for eight hours. That what happens to me every time you have another girlfriend. But you had three other girlfriends after me. Do you realize how much I suffered? I fell for you deep and I hit the ground extremely hard.
You broke up with them but I was always here for you. Like what happened last time we flirted with each other and you fell for me again. But I will always fall for you. I didn't actually knew how you looked like but you knew mine even if I know you for one year. Not even a picture of you. But I love you anyway.
When we were chatting in MSN that Friday night you asked me if I wanted to see you live. Of course I wanted to. And that was the first time I ever saw your appearance. You are handsome but I saw who you really where. But despite of what I saw, I still love you. Because I will love you for who you are even if you're 200 lbs or more, even if you are 64 years old or more I wouldn't care. Knowing on how much you make my life whole, you complete me and because I love you.
But after all that, I guess you fell for another girl and my heart broke into millions of pieces again. You said that you are in love with this woman that can kill you and you are risking for her.
You don't know how much I risked for you. My parents caught me using the computer for eight times until they did not want to trust me anymore. I risked all of that just for you. But you would never care for that. You would just break me all the time but I will always love you. I fell deeply for you and now I hit the ground with spikes. I don't know how I could cope now.
Love is like a rose with thorns, the harder you hold on to it the more it hurts.
- by Scarlet Paramour |
- Non Fiction
- | Submitted on 03/15/2009 |
- Skip
- Title: Why did I deserve such thing?
- Artist: Scarlet Paramour
- Description: I love you so much and I still will even after my death but how could you not see what I am doing for you? Why do I deserve such a s**t?
- Date: 03/15/2009
- Tags: deserve such thing
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Comments (7 Comments)
- TrashHeapMcGee - 03/28/2009
- While reading that, I saw many parts that fit into a story of my own. That's how it was with a guy I was with online. He broke my heart into millions of pieces. Yet I can't hate him.. I hope life gets better for you.
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- Unfortunate Misfits - 03/28/2009
- Awwwwwww I'm so sorry!
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- XxInnocent-FearxX - 03/28/2009
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Scarlet dear...I am deeply and truly sorry for what you have suffered...I did the same mistake but my one true love was my friend (a boy) who was always there when I cried...
I hope you find someone and you dont deserve s**t like that!
You loved him with all your heart and you didnt even care about his appearance!
You fell that hard for him...he should have seen it... - Report As Spam
- kagwasha27 - 03/19/2009
- that was amazing even though it was sad. you did a great job and keep it up!!the dude has major problems if he couldn't see that she loved him
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- Kisa8 - 03/19/2009
- Wow, thats sad. And true in many cases and that just adds to the sadness. T-T Thanks for sharing it with the Gaia world!
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- iCrusifix - 03/19/2009
- wow wtf i feel soo bad for u omg he's a bich going out with more than 1 girl i dont think he loved u. i would never make the person i love be in so much pain and yet y did he make u feel so bad i dont think he loved u i think he was just playing with u just like he's doing to all those other girls he had all the qualities u will like to find in a person but he was also a jerk
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- Ericam 420 - 03/17/2009
- thats so sad ='( im not joking
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