• Well, after I got dumped by a totally mean and jerky boyfriend, rumors started going around about me.

    That I've lost my virginity, that I smoke weed, that I am a prostitute, etc.

    But here are the 2 that made me laugh soooo hard.

    1. I eat people. I eat their faces and then snack on their bones.

    2. I eat barbie heads after I play with them in the bath tub.

    OK, so i'm overweight. But don't be stupid people. Seriously.