• Face frozen foreword
    Like a stone statue
    Eyes stare ahead, emotionless
    Like the glazed eyes of the dead
    I walk like a machine
    I don’t turn my head
    I don’t slow my stride
    But she keeps calling my name
    I can’t see
    But I know
    That she’s dodging the Saturday night mass of people
    My name in the air
    Becomes more proximate
    She grips my shoulders
    Stops my escape
    Puts her face before mine
    “What’s wrong?
    Where are you going?”
    I say,
    “Don’t let me ruin your night. Don’t’ let me ruin your night. I can walk home. I live a block away, I swear. Let me walk home. Go back. Go back.”
    I don’t know why I am repeating my words.
    I don’t know why she’s asking me.
    She knows what’s wrong.
    The corners of her eyebrows reach for the cold stars.
    “You won’t ruin my night. What’s wrong?”
    “I’m fine. Fine. I swear. Just let me walk. I want to walk. Go back.”
    Her eyes won’t let go of the question
    If I answer honestly,
    It would only confirm what she knows.
    Her eyes are so blue and so green and so concerned.
    “It’s okay, you can tell me.”
    “No, it’s just me being stupid.”
    “You’re not stupid.”
    And we dance around
    I do not give in to the truth.
    She knows
    How I feel
    It occurs to me the question in her eyes
    Is asking how far I will go to follow my desire
    Her eyes
    Her tight grip
    I keep trying to walk away
    But her eyes
    Her arms pulling me back
    “Let me go. Go back.”
    Go back to that guy
    He’s waiting for you
    “Don’t let me ruin your night.”
    Her eyes, so dedicated to seek out honesty
    I avoid connecting her eyes to mine
    But when I do
    Catch a silent second of telepathic communication
    Through her eyes
    That say that boy in there
    Waiting for me,
    well, forget about him
    forget him now, act on your feelings
    “It’s okay. Whatever you have to say is okay. I promise it won’t ruin my night.”
    Begging me to tell her
    Wanting me to say that I don’t regret that night
    I recall
    Lying on my back
    In an embrace
    Her head comfortably on my chest
    She shifts until our eyes meet
    “I can hear your heart beat.”
    I smile and stroke her hair
    In those twisted sheets
    We stare and stare
    Each wanting such different things
    “Let me go.”