• July 11, 2010 — In 2006, my first year in middle school, I met a girl who would change my life forever. Her name was Megan Kathleen. At first we hated each other, and I never would have guessed she would become my best friend.
    Over the course of the next four years, Megan and I became inseparable. We were always at each other's houses and we did everything together. We would talk for hours about everything. We made many plans for the future that we now will never get to carry out.
    In 2010, our freshman year of high school, Megan and I were as close as ever. Megan didn't get along with her mother, so she was always at my house. Megan was making very terrible decisions, and I was trying so hard to help her. She was getting drunk every weekend, smoking, and having sex like crazy. She had sex with a guy at my house two hours after she had met him. I tried to tell Megan what she was doing wrong, but she wouldn't listen to me. She felt like if I were really her best friend, I wouldn't want her to change. But I wanted her to change because I was her best friend.
    In January of 2010, Megan and I got into a really big fight about her lifestyle. We didn't talk for about a week, and even after that, we never really made up. We didn't hang out anymore or tell each other things anymore. We talked only because we had all of our classes together. Things remained like this for the next three months.
    On April 8, I got to school and Megan wasn't there. I asked around and finally discovered she was being expelled from school. She had been caught giving a guy a hand job in school. She would be moving schools after our spring break, and I wasn't sure when I’d see her again.
    Once I got home from school, I tried to call Megan, but she wouldn't answer. That night around 10:00 p.m. I got a text message from her sister. It was Megan. She told me that I was right, and she had made bad decisions. She also told me I’d never see her again. I tried to ask her where she was going, and she wouldn't tell me. She told me not to worry about her, that I had done my part, and I had tried to help her. I begged her to tell me where she was going, and she wouldn't tell me. She finally stopped texting me. I never would have imagined what I heard the next day.
    The next morning, I told my other best friend Kerstin about what had happened the night before. I asked what she thought it meant, and she assured me it didn't mean anything; probably that she was just moving schools. Neither of us imagined we'd be attending a funeral couple of days later.
    Around noon that day, Kerstin approached me in the hallway. She was crying. She told me Megan’s sister had left crying and something was wrong. I knew something had happened to Megan and I panicked. Once I got to my fifth block, I tried to text Maddie, Megan’s sister, but before I could even finish the text I was called to the office.
    When I reached the office, I was told to go outside that someone was waiting on me. I saw Kerstin outside the door. I started crying, I knew something was very wrong. I walked outside and Kerstin told me Megan was gone. She had shot herself with a twelve gauge shotgun. I don't remember what happened after that, except that I went home. The next Monday I had to attend my best friend’s funeral, something I had never imagined. I walked around like an empty shell for the next few weeks feeling guilty. I felt like it was my fault. I felt like if I would have tried to talk to Megan the night before she wouldn't have done it.
    I just want to tell everyone out there, it's never your fault. If someone is set on killing themselves, they are going to do it no matter what anyone says or does. When a person is that depressed, they aren't themselves anymore. They are someone completely different, and they aren't thinking about who they are hurting or who they will affect.
    Losing someone to suicide is one of the hardest things someone will ever go through, especially at a young age. Just remember, it's never your fault and there's nothing you could have done. You will get through it, and it will get better, slowly