• CHAPTER 156 - SO...WAS I ONLY DREAMING?

    After panicking and sobbing all night...could it all have turned out to be a dream?

    I don't know what woke me up the next morning; nobody shook me awake, there were no noises loud enough to disturb me, the curtains were drawn shut, and nobody else was even in the room. When I opened my eyes and tried sitting up, I groaned from the stiffness; I had slept on my left side the whole night. My cheeks were crusty from the tears I had forgotten to wipe off and my pillow was finally dried out. I looked to my right and noticed Chi was no longer in the bed; where did she run off to?

    My stomach churned violently and I held my breath; Kai had told me Hisao had activated the contract. He kept telling me last night that I didn't have to worry about meeting with Minoru and Kaiba again quite yet. I was so out of it; was it all a dream? It must have been; Kai wasn't in the room to wake me up with a depressed face.

    I finally sat all the way up and stretched, groaning at the pain on my left side. I climbed off of the bed and left the bedroom without changing my clothes. I was really starting to question whether or not what Kai said last night was true. Shrugging, I stepped across the hall towards Kira's bedroom and I opened the door. As I stepped in, Kai and Matsuda looked over at me. Kai donned a small smile on his face; I really must have been dreaming last night. If what Kai said was true, there would be no way he would have smiled.

    "Good morning, Arisa," Matsuda greeted.

    I stared at him for a second, "Good morning, Matsuda,"

    "Hey, Arisa!" I heard Chi exclaim. I looked over at her and she was sitting cross-legged on Kira's bed near him.

    "Hey Chi, Kira," I smiled faintly, still tired.

    "We've just been talking with Kira," she smiled. "He's really funny."

    "I like to make fun of Kai," Kira chuckled.

    "That's nice," I smiled again, making my way towards Kai.

    Instead of saying a simple "hello" to Kai, I stood right next to him as Kira, Chi, and Matsuda started to talk again. I smiled at the thought that Chi was starting to enjoy herself; she really seemed to like everybody at the house. I stepped a little closer to Kai, close enough to not be touching him but to feel the cold radiating off of him.

    "Glad to see you're awake," Kai chuckled lightly but never made eye contact.

    I looked up at him and soon looked away, "Glad to be awake,"

    For once in a long time, I felt awkward to be standing next to Kai. I figured that, to break the tension, I should probably hold his hand. I slowly reached for his enlarged hand and, right when I touched it, Kai flinched and withdrew his hand, stuffing it into his pocket. My heart stopped and my eyes widened; I really wasn't dreaming last night, was I?

    "Kai--"

    "Don't speak of it," Kai whispered to me, still avoiding eye contact.

    I reached for his arm and he shrugged away from me. Before I could act again, he glided out of the room and shut the door behind him. I stood in Kira's bedroom, broken in the inside. The tears wanted to pour out of my eyes again but I held them back; Kai told me not to speak of it, so I wouldn't. I wouldn't allow Chi or Kira to find out yet. I looked down at my empty hand that had started to tremble. Kai was right...it wasn't a dream...the contract was starting to take over Kai...

    "Arisa, why don't you join us?" Chi looked over at me and smiled.

    I merely stood for a moment, looking off into space with shock on my face. I could feel something start to creep up my throat and I shook my head before I covered my mouth. I dashed out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, barely able to shut the door before I hunched over the toilet and heaved out the bile from my mouth. It was happening again; I was vomiting from fear. The last time I vomited from fear was when we still had Ai with us. But this situation was completely different.

    "Oh God..." I wrapped my arms around my stomach. "I don't want to believe it..."

    The bathroom door creaked open and I glanced over with my head on the rim of the toilet to see Kai standing in the doorway. His complexion was apathetic; I couldn't tell how he was truly feeling. I sat myself up and stared at him in depression. I wanted to cry; I wanted to believe everything I was living at the moment was a lie.

    "Do you have the flu?" Kai asked in monotone.

    I shook my head and replied weakly, "No...fear..."

    Kai's face shifted to worry for a moment before he shut the door and leaned his back against it, "I'm sorry,"

    "There's nothing we can do," I murmured. "I'm doomed."

    "Look at you..." Kai remarked. "I might as well evacuate you now; you look awful."

    I shook my head violently and leaned against the bathtub, curling up and wrapping my arms around my legs, "You're not getting rid of me,"

    Kai paused for a moment, "We should return home,"

    I nodded, "Yes," and I paused. "But what about Chi?"

    "She can stay here for a couple more days," said Kai. "We contacted the orphanage and they granted us permission."

    I started crying and buried my face in my knees, "I thought it was a dream,"

    When I looked up again, I noticed Kai was gone and the bathroom door was cracked open. I would have asked Kai why he left, but how would I know what the contract did to him? It probably hurt him to be near me. Matsuda peeked his head into the bathroom and stepped in with concern on his face.

    "What's wrong?"

    I crawled over to the toilet and flushed it, ridding myself of my nausea. I stood up and wiped my mouth off on a towel and sighed, "It's Kai,"

    Matsuda embraced me tightly and pat my head, "I apologize. It's difficult to know the truth after it's been dormant for so long."

    I only nodded and Matsuda released me and I left the bathroom. I cleared up my tears before I went back into Kira's room. Chi and Kira were laughing, still enjoying themselves. Chi looked over at me again.

    "You're back," she smiled. "Please join us?"

    I paused for a moment before Kai peeked his head into the bedroom, still monotone, "Arisa, we depart in five minutes,"

    I nodded and he left; our communication was thinning severely already. I approached Kira's bed and climbed on it next to Chi, "Hey, Kira,"

    "You look tired," he smiled at me. "Long day?"

    I guess I couldn't tell Kira either that the contract was acting up yet, "Yeah,"

    We all talked for a short moment before Kai came back into the bedroom, "Arisa, let's leave,"

    My heart dropped and I nodded, "Okay,"

    As soon as I climbed off of the bed, Chi embraced me, "Come back to visit before I leave for the orphanage, okay?"

    I nodded and embraced her too, "I will, I promise,"

    After I released Chi, I headed towards the bedroom only to be halted by Kira's fake crying, "No hug for brother Kira?"

    I smiled weakly and walked over to Kira and embraced him tightly. I didn't care if my scent disturbed Kira; I wanted to hug him. I seemed to think that it was my last encounter with Kira because I gave him a small kiss on the cheek, "I'll see you again soon,"

    "Take care of yourself," he pat my head. "And my baby brother."

    I nodded and left the bedroom with a weight on my shoulders. As I descended down the stairs, Kai was standing at the entrance of the foyer and he never smiled at me. I was almost afraid of him; I had never seen him so apathetic in so long. I beckoned my farewells to Matsuda and Orihime and we left out the front door. I wanted to reach for Kai's hand while we were walking to the car, but I was afraid he would pull back from me again.

    Kai unlocked his car and we both climbed in and he revved up the engine. When we were about halfway down the road to Sapporo, I dared myself and laced my fingers between Kai's that were on the armrest between us. Kai flinched but he kept his hand in mine but never looked in my direction.

    "I'm sorry for being so henious," he sighed. "Now that the contract is being activated, it physically hurts me to be near you."

    I gasped and tried to pull my hand away, not wanting to cause him any more harm but he kept my hand in his, "I don't want you to be hurt, Kai,"

    "I can overcome it," he smiled weakly at me.

    Every second of silence that passed plunged the dagger in my heart further and further. I had no clue the contract caused him physical pain whenever he was near me. How much worse would the pain be once the end came? I was in pain too, but not physical; I was more in mental pain than anything else. How could anybody be so cruel as to put Kai under such a punishment? Was feeling sorry for something really such a horrible thing?

    "In the world of Vampires, yes," Kai mumbled as he kissed the back of my hand. "In the world of Vampires, there is no pity and there is no forgiveness."