• Everyday at twelve thirty the recess bell would ring, and for twenty five sweet minutes us kids lived like animals. Now, not all of us were screaming toddlers running through the jungle gym. There was Todd Puller, a third grader like me, he would run out and get on his trike and glare down anyone that came near the bike rack. Todd was the leader of a triker gang called the pacifiers. Todd wore a leather jacket and big aviator sunglasses. Todd also worked off-campus collecting lunch money and class money for Little Tony.
    Me and Tony went way back, we were neighbors and friends since he was in second grade and I was in kindergarten. Tony was from the Big Apple, the largest class the school had ever seen. When he was in first grade the teacher lost control and once she lost it, Tony seized it. Now Tony ran a huge syndicate. His fingers stretched from kids in Pre-K all the way to upper levels of middle school. Through Tony you could get some of the most hard to come by materials, high quality rubber bands, whoopee cushions, even the most powerful NERF technology. Tony’s bodyguards were eighth graders whose grades had been electronically altered to put them back in fifth grade so Tony could have two giant testosterone filled guards. I squeezed between the two pea brained guards and headed into Tony’s office under the gym.
    Underneath the gym and right next to the boiler room Tony’s office was extremely hot and humid. A person of his obesity shouldn’t have been comfortable down here, but he was wearing a business suit and wasn’t even sweating. I sat down at the chair opposite Tony and said, “Hey Tony how’s it going?”
    “It’s not good,” Tony leaned in closer, “My cousin Luigi has gone missing. I already checked his house. An get this,” Tony leaned even closer, “None o’ Sally Allens’ gang showed up.”
    I nodded, Sally Allens was the only other godfather on the playground. Sally was shorter than my own four foot five inches, but she was aggressive to the point of insanity. The only reason Tony didn’t get rid of her was because he wouldn’t hit a girl, and what he couldn’t do, no one could do. Sally’s divas could beat up every boy on camps and would receive no resistance. The only reason Sally didn’t take out Tony was because she wouldn’t hit a kid with glasses, though I had witnessed her optical attacks several times. I think she was just scared of Tony’s retaliation.
    “What do you want me to do?” I asked.
    “Find her and beat her up.” Tony’ voice bubbled with anger.
    “What?” I said shocked.
    “Sally’s overstepped a line, you and Todd take her out, got any problems with that?”
    “No sir, course not.”
    “Then get on it.”
    I left the underground layer and started across the playground toward the bike rack. I’m from Texas and my reputation as the Cowboy got me into all kinds of work. But more important to my career was what was in my elementary school record. I had more fights under my belt than an ultimate fighter, and I never lose. I fought more people than any of Tony’s goons, more than all the henchmen combined, and in the beginning of the year when asked to set a long term goal I put down that I want to have a second permanent record folder. I had worked jobs for Tony since I entered elementary school and this was just another job. I was working for revenge. I was fine with that.
    Todd glared at me as I approached.
    “Tony wants us to work together,” I said checking to make sure there was still a salamander and a rock in my pocket.
    A little of Todd’s hostility faded, but being a working competitor we could never fully rid our rivalry, “What’s he want us to do?”
    “Lil’ Tony wants us to get his cousin Luigi out of a tight spot.”
    “What kind of tight spot.”
    “Sally Allens got him hostage. The no hitting rule has been repealed.”
    Todd’s face lit up, his girlfriend had been even more abusive since he couldn’t fight back. “Hop on.” He said patting his trike.

    We flew down and over hills, houses blurred to the sides as Todd turned right and sped down a new development. Todd braked skidding the tires. It would have been quicker to cut through the woods at the playground and go over the fence into the Allens’ backyard, but the trike couldn’t take the terrain.
    “Here we are, the Allens place.” We hopped off the trike and headed across the long green grass toward the door. Todd reached into his jacket and withdrew a NERF gun with darts tipped with gravel bits. I was more traditional and put my hand on the rock in my pocket.
    I rang the door bell. I looked at Todd and he cocked his weapon. The lock clicked and we braced ourselves. A short pudgy woman stirring a pot opened the door.
    “Hello Mrs. Allens.” Both us hitmen said at the same time.
    “Oh how’s it going, boys,” Mrs. Allens asked, whatever she was cooking smelled delicious and the scent was wafting out of the house, “Shouldn’t you two be at school?”
    This wasn’t the time to be answering stupid questions we were on a mission, but I said, “No, Mrs. Allens. We were wondering if Shelly was home.”
    “No, she went to school today.” Mrs. Allens must have caught wind of our intentions; she might be covering for Shelly.
    To make sure she wasn’t I said, “She wasn’t at school today Mrs. Allens.”
    Mrs. Allens’ face turned bright red. She muttered something that might have been “Excuse me, go back to school.” Then she shut the door.
    I looked at Todd. Obviously he had a plan. “You cut through the woods, I’ll take the trike back and report to Tony. You might find Sally and the hostage in the woods.”
    I nodded and went around the Allens’ house into their backyard and over their white picket fence into the woods. I was half way through the woods, in the marsh area that a loud high-pitched ululation resonated through the under brush. I dropped to the ground, er…mud, and sunk in. The sound was chilling and I realized I had been spotted.
    I stayed where I was for what felt like an eternity. Then slowly began to rise. As soon as I did a scream of delight pierced the air next to me. I jumped to my feet as a little girl rushed at me, nails outstretched. I dodged to the side and tripped her with one foot. She sprawled in the mud. She began to cry and fled in the direction of the Allens home.
    I was unfazed and trekked deeper into the woods. The mud became worse and I tied my shoes and socks through a belt loop. I was squishing through the muck when I heard a familiar voice behind me say, “Hands up, Cowboy, no tricks.”
    I turned and put my hands up. Standing on top of an old rotting tree was Gwen Cooper. Once in first grade we had been married, but in second grade she had left me and betrayed all I stood for, and joined Shelly Allens gang. Not only did we work opposites on many missions, but now she had me at gun point.
    “Drop the rock,” Gwen gestured with her NERF Tommygun, I couldn’t help but notice every round in the clip was gravel tipped. On her back was a NERF sniper rifle; laser pointer and scope included. I couldn’t help but notice how her pony tail moved when she gestured with the NERF weapon.
    “What, this thing,” I said, playing stupid and lifting up my arm up almost so I could throw it.
    “Yeah, that thing.” She aimed the Tommygun at my face.
    I sighed and begrudgingly dropped the rock. “You know, we used to have something.”
    “That was one year ago Cowboy.”
    “But don’t you remember how good those times were?” Then something sparked in my short memory, “Gwen there’s a spider in your hair.”
    Gwen screamed and dropped her gun, brushing frantically at her hair. I slipped the salamander from my pocket and rushed at Gwen. When she saw what I was doing she reached down for her weapon. I reached her before she could aim the Tommygun and I pushed her off the log into the deep mud, gravel tipped darts flew through the air as she fell. I leapt over the fallen tree and landed on top of her.
    “No funny business or I’ll put Mr. Salamander on your face.” Gwen nodded, she knew I wasn’t joking around. “Now tell me everything I want to know. Where’s Sally?”
    “She’s taking over.” The words stunned me, Sally Allens overthrow Tony? Was it possible?
    “Why? How?” I stuttered out.
    “An insider, I dunno, Little Tony won’t be king of the playground long.”
    I stood and turned, if Tony fell it would mean a new dark age, an age of terror unthought-of within the minds of any playgrounders.
    “I have to stop her.” I bent down and picked up the Tommygun from the mud. I helped Gwen to her feet. “Sally is evil. I don’t know if I’ll survive the upcoming battle, but will you help me save the playground?”
    Gwen shook her head. I bowed mine and started away toward the school. From behind me Gwen said, “Well, I hope you don’t die, if you don’t then I’ll see you in class on Thursday.” Girls, I thought shaking my head, so naïve.

    I climbed the fence at the back of the playground and jumped down into the wood chips. I went around the playground toward the back of the school. I reached under a dumpster and pulled a life jacket out. The thing had saved mine more than once. I strapped it on and headed for the gym. The school was eerily quiet and the wind whistled along the pavement.
    I pushed open the maintenance door with the tip of my weapon. Instantly a volley of dart flew up, I hid behind the door as darts pounded it. I bounced out from my spot and rattled off three darts into the dark. Someone screamed and started to cry so I knew I had found my mark. The hallway down the stairs was all concrete, no cover. I rushed down it anyway and reached Tony’s lobby area. Lying on the ground were his two guards along with fifth grade girl who lay crying in the fetal position. I spotted the nearest cover and ducked behind the lobby desk, tipping it to make a shield. A few darts rattled against the desk and I stayed down.
    Just as I was looking around the corner timing my turn to fire, Todd said, “Hands up Cowboy.”
    I had a terrible sinking feeling as I looked over my shoulder. Todd was standing imposingly over me, Nerf pistol pointed at my back. “So this is it, eh Todd, you just shoot me in the back. But why did you do it, you traitor?”
    “Sally had it all planned,” Todd smirked, “She circulated Pixie Stix in the air ducts, the guards had a sugar rush and fell asleep…”
    Todd ranted, but I was forming a plan. I would have to take Todd out quick, with only shots to the face. I spun while he was mid sentence, but Todd was fast and pulled the trigger. The dart bounced off the life jacket, and I gritted my teeth as I pulled the trigger. Six darts pounded Todd’s face before my weapon clicked empty. Todd burst into tears and fell to the ground. I picked up his weapon and headed into Tony’s office.
    I acted quick, quicker than Sally Allens. I flung open the office door, spotted her and fired every dart I had into her. She went down crying quick, even for a second grader. I glared at her only crony in the room; she gave up and put her hands in the air. I walked over to Tony and ripped the duct tape off his mouth.
    “You okay?” I asked, genuinely concerned for my employer’s health.
    “Never better.” From the shine in his eyes I knew he wasn’t lying. His best hitman had just beaten his worst enemies. He smiled, “You know Cowboy, I’ll be gone in a year. But while I’m still here I can get you anything you want. So what’ll it be?”
    I sighed and thought for a second. Tony insisted, “Money, weapons, armor, trikes, bikes, dames, you name it you got it!”
    “You know what I want,” I said, exhausted, “I just want to go back to class.”