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“Oh.” Her hand shot to her chest, feeling the p***k of a rose thorn. The rose was beautiful; she couldn’t help but admire it. The thorn had surprised her that was all. No pain. She was certain that she had checked for thorns beforehand. Perhaps she hadn’t looked closely enough. It was something she was used to. Often as she was here, it was no surprise. Roses had always been her favorite companions. They were beautiful, silent and dangerous. A thrilling combination, she believed. Though, at times, it was a painful remainder of a previous life. This was shy she was here. The roses’ company comforted her in a way that was beyond words. She was calm here. Being undead, one would think that she could not understand such human feelings as, loneliness and comfort and love. Being part of a coven so well known for its cruelty and deceit, one may think that she is only capable of what her coven is known for. She could only wish for such a lack of humanity. She could only pray (if a vampire’s prayers were heard) that she could forget the wild emotions of being a human woman. It was not quite as simple as it seemed though. No, it was much more complicated than it seemed. It was only through years of practice that she managed to keep herself bottled up in an emotionless shell. It was a trick that even humans could learn, given enough time and reason.
It was getting harder as the years went by. Well, that’s what she believed. There were times when she’d nearly left in pursuit of her past life; simply to be sure he was gone for good. Those times were few and far in between, but they happened, something bothered her still. Yet she could not place the concern. It made no sense to her. If she had moved on, why was she reminiscing like this? Why did she still think of him when she saw a rose? ‘You still love him.’ A nonsensical voice whispered in the back of her mind. She growled at it in response. There was no possible way she could still care for such a coward. Why should she? He left her; he abandoned her with no explanation at all. He had always been bad with conflicted, especially with women. He had that weakness and it had been fun to play on for awhile. That was when they were goofy and happy. She missed that.
“Ugh… stop it, Beatrix.” She scolded herself, “You can’t miss him. It makes no sense. None at all, so stop. Remember what he did to you.” This was why she avoided getting close to anyone now; she feared the pain of abandonment more than anything else. She didn’t want to risk herself again. He had taken enough her already. Why let him continue by thinking of him?
It was always him that was why. Horus, Horus, Horus. From the moment she met him to the moment she told herself she would let go. There was never anyone in her life before and never anyone after. And… unlike him, there was never anyone else while he was in her life. Never. ‘Really, he was like rose. That’s why I liked him.’ She thought, plucking a rose from the bush before and ignoring the thorns sticking her fingers. She remembered when she met him for the first time. She’d only recently returned to England, after a long tour around the world. She only saw him in passing once or twice, before discovering that he was part of a recently formed coven of vampires. They were called Iah and he was their leader. She joined without a seconds thought, flew through their tests and initiation, which she only vaguely remembered. She only remembered that he smiled at her for the first time then. She fell hard and fast. It was sad that her first love came along when she was no longer human. Sadder still was the fact that he turned out to be less than he appeared. As they got closer, she began to notice how perfect he seemed to her. He was very kind and gentle. He laughed easily and smiled often. He made fair choices and, best of all, he loved her back. That was how it seemed on the surface at least. She had never been very good at seeing beyond what others wanted her to see. So it came as a surprise when he began disappearing for days on end, without notice to anyone, least of all her. His disappearances became more and more frequent as time went on and others were beginning to suspect something was up. Beatrix chose not to listen to them. In retrospect, it was a stupid and naïve choice. When he was gone for over a month without any notice, she demanded an explanation from him and he replied with a simply statement.
“It’s nothing to do with you.” He told her. If had nothing to do with her, then why wouldn’t he tell her? She questioned him again. She received only one word in response, “Never mind.” That was all and he left the room. He didn’t return that night or the next. The next time she saw him, he was cold and distant. He didn’t touch her, he didn’t hug her, and he didn’t kiss her. In fact, he almost seemed to be avoiding her. She didn’t ask him again; instead she huffed and ignored him in return. She was being childish. She learned nothing until that night. She learned a lot in that night and did all she could to sever herself from Horus after that.
Perched on a small bench, she plucked the petals from the rose she held. One-by-one as she remembered the night of the ball.
It had been a grand night, she knew. She was happier than she had been in a long while. Horus was smiling and holding her close, as they danced across the floor. Other couples made way for them, it seemed. She was in a dream, a fantasy. The lit candles added to the sweet, haunting quality of such a dream. Her face was buried in Horus’ chest, when She showed up destroying the small shell of happiness that had surrounded Beatrix for that short while. The newcomer burst through the doors, using the bodies of two guards to clear her way. All backed off, but Beatrix and Horus. The girl’s look was deadly and she had called Horus when she entered. The new girl stopped a few feet from them and threw the guards at Beatrix’s feet, only because she now stood between the girl and her mate. The younger vampire sneered at them both.
The rose petals were a third of the way gone, the pile at her feet continued to grow.
“Horus! You vile man! You traitor! You cheater! You liar! I was never anything to you, was I? You always returned to her, after all.” She gestured briefly at Beatrix as she spoke. A few gasps from the crowd, reminded Beatrix that others were in the room, but she barely acknowledged them. She squeezed Horus’ hand tighter, in anger or concern, she was uncertain at the time.
Another rose petal fell.
“You told me you were alone in this world too! You took care of me! How could you?” tears welled up the other girl’s eyes. Beatrix could not cry, so she squeezed Horus’ hand harder. Everyone was staring, wondering what would happen next, but no one moved. The girl turned her gaze on Beatrix, her look almost smug, “He cheated us both.” She said. Cheated… it was a word she had been a avoiding for a long time. She suspected, but she had done nothing. She dropped Horus’ hand.
Two more rose petals were added to the pile.
Horus took off the moment he was free. She didn’t watch him go and she didn’t move when the girl darted past her to chase Horus. “I’ll kill him.” She heard the girl mutter as she passed. Only the sound of glass shattering into a thousand pieces told her where Horus had gone. He had fled through the window. The intruder had followed.
One more rose petal drifted to the ground, this one was separate from the rest. Beatrix didn’t fix it.
There was no more she could do but let go. People skirted around her, on their way to help clean up what glass had fallen inside the ballroom, the band picked up again. Their leader had just fled from a girl and they were intent on enjoying themselves for the rest of the night. Beatrix could not do that. She fell to the floor and wished she could cry. She would not chase him down. She could barely move. She would not hope to see him again. She wouldn’t be able to take it. She said goodbye.
Three petals joined the lone one on the ground.
One and a half songs passed before she was able to will herself to stand. She would be free now. She continued to tell herself that. First she had to decide where to go.
She sprinkled the last of the petals around her and dropped the stem onto the larger pile. It had been a long time since that night and she was in a much better condition than what she had appeared in. Thoughts of him had been locked away in the back of her mind, until moments like this. Times of uninterrupted thought in Le Parc Floral de Paris. The Flower Park of Paris. It was her favorite place to think. With beauty all around you, who wouldn’t like it? She had found her new clan here in Paris and proven herself to take a place as the Chief Advisor of Beauchamp. It was a clan dominated by women. They lived as they pleased, only bothering to meet on rare occasions. She turned slightly at the sound of footsteps behind her.
“I’m sorry, was I interrupting something?” the voice was familiar, she turned back to see him clearly and gasped. He could be here.
“You… I figured you were dead.” She spoke calmly, despite the surprise evident in her face.
“I’m sorry.” He smiled, the smile that had melted her on so many occasions, “You must be mistaken; I don’t believe we’ve met.” She almost laughed at that response. It was just like him to do something like this. Her first impulse was to throw her arms around him; her next was to hit him. Hard. Perhaps it was time she discussed things with Beauchamp.
“What name do you go by now, Horus?” she asked a small smile playing at her lips.
“I’m called Rook. I don’t believe I know anyone by the name of Horus. Anyway, it was a pleasure to meet you, miss, but I must be going. I hope to see you again.” He bowed and ducked away after that. ‘Always running away, aren’t you, Horus?’ She thought with a growing smile. First, they would have to make sure he didn’t flee the city.
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Title:
The Forgotten Life
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Artist:
Magical Fangirl Girl
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Description:
I had this up previously, but this is the better version. Much better.
Beatrix Symington is the Chief Advisor of the Beachamp Clan of vampires, based in Paris. They are a group known for their cruelty and manipulation, especially towards those of the male gender. However, what would lead a vampire (or woman) who has felt love and happiness with a man to join such a clan? These are her thoughts in years since the night that stole her happiness from.
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Date:
09/29/2008
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Tags:
forgotten
life
romance
revenge
rose
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