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Call me and lead me towards the light

You were so close..Yet so distant...
I lost my cheerfulness...
I ran away from the light because I was afraid…
I was always afraid of something…
The scars of my past it hurts my heart...
I will never forget that pain...
My heart is so cold..
If people try to listen to my heart...
They can’t here anything for the noise...
I cannot believe in anything...
Even if I reach out for someone...
I always betray myself..
Like a curse.
My cold heart will not break from this.
And even if it does, Then so will this curse.
If I can be free,
I don’t care either way.
I just hate this unfinished memory within me...
I erased all hopes of becoming free…
Or becoming satisfied,
All by my own hand.
What was I hoping for?
I’m full of emptiness.
And the way to break the curse is a secret forever...
The feelings I felt then was lonely...
Let’s find hope even if the road is too dark to see.
If I’m lonely help me shine brightly like the moonlight to find the path...
So call my name...
Shout it loud many times...
And the curse is broken as if by magic..


Hurt

Why? Why do I always end up hurting the ones I love?
You were smiling so I’ll cry instead.
I feel so frustrated...
If anyone hurts my friends...
I should be the target.
Don’t blame me for killing my parents...
Cause I wanted them to live to...
I didn’t understand anything when I was blamed…
I didn’t even realize how I felt then..
But at night I understood...
The first night I cried silently...
My friends get hurt because of me...
To be honest I don’t care if I die...
I don’t like running away from a problem..
Why did I dream I could be pure like I used to be?
Someone I loved died because of me...
I don’t want anybody to get hurt that’s all I want.
I understand...I understand that you we're trying to protect me...
I understand more than anyone...
Those words you told me shine in the deepest part of my heart...
That’s why I don’t want anybody to get hurt..
But the more I think about other peoples feelings...
I cannot move forward,
Not even a step...
I’m a fool.
There is no place I can run to...
I always end up hurting somebody…without knowing
I Hate myself I’m so weak without knowing..
I’m not afraid of dying but living…
IS SUCH A SCARY THING TO DO.