I'm finding out the hard way that things can never truely get better until they have gotten worse. That's why I'm beginning to believe the saying "When it rains it pours" is true. Right now I'm wondering why I haven't went mad with all that I'm going through. I guess maybe I should start paying attention to people more often when they tell me things like "You're stronger then most people".
People keep telling me I just need to stop letting life get to me so much, that I have depression and I should talk to a counsilor. I know I have depression, I've had it most of my life. I tried the counsilor thing and it didn't get anywhere. It didn't help at all. When people tell me these things and say they that have been through the same thing or know what I'm going through, I can't help, but to look at them thinking do you really know? I don't know how many people would really know what I'm going through or what it's like to have to watch someone that you love to be suffering and slowly dying. Maybe more people then I think do. I don't really know. All I know is that that's what I'm having to do with my grandfather who my family has lived with all of my life. Also on top of that my one great aunt is on her death bed, my grandmother my family lives with isn't doing the greatest and my other grandmother is currently at the Georgetown Hospital in critical care and they don't know what is wrong with her. It's starting to feel like my world is falling apart around me and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
I know some of you probably think I'm just being stupid and letting my depression get to me...or maybe even that I'm just emo. I really don't care and I'm not asking for sympathy. All I ask is that you'll remember my family in your prayers.
 blueblackrose · Wed Mar 07, 2007 @ 08:30pm · 2 Comments |
