___________________________
(Ervine sitting at a computer)
Ervine: You know, if you stare at this thing long enough you can see it’s just a bunch of flashing lights.
Jones: So what you saying is everything is fake?
Ervine: Ya, pretty much.
Collins: So if I pressed the blow up the engines button it wouldn’t do anything?
Ervine: Hmm, well I suppose not seeing how everything is a fake… but then again you can open doors just by walking near them… so that means if the designers purposely put a blow up the engines button it might actually…
(Ervine gets up and runs toward Collins)
Ervine: Collins! Don’t press that button!
(Explosion rings through the corridors)
Ervine: You idiot!? Don’t you know your never supposed to listen to Jewish people!?
Collins: Oh come on, who wouldn’t want to press that, besides I didn’t even press the button dumbass.
Jones: Wait, then what was that explosion…?
(Ervine runs to a consol, and scans the periodically flashing lights)
Ervine: Judging by the periodically flashing lights, there was an explosion in the left engine.
(Both look toward Collins)
Collins: I know this looks bad, but I honestly didn’t press the button.
Jones: How do you expect us to believe you?
Collins: Okay, look carefully at the blow up the engines button. You can see the word “engines” yet only one engine exploded.
Ervine: Wow, that actually made sense. Collins, believe it or not but I’m inviting you to the Scramble party on Tuesday.
Collins: There’s a Scramble party?
Ervine: Yep.
(Another explosion)
Ervine: What the hell?
(Ervine checks periodically flashing lights a second time)
Ervine: No wonder, we’re being bombed from the inside!
Jones: A Covenant is still alive?
Collins: I’m pretty sure we killed them all.
Ervine: What do you mean “we?” You hardly did anything. Remember while the rest of us were risking our lives to secure the ship you were suffering from the food poisoning from the cafeteria?
Collins: Oh ya… the lobster, and Obi wan Kenobi…
(Silence)
Ervine: Anyway, we need to grab some weapons and kill whatever is trying to kill us.
Jones: Agreed.
Collins: Damn it, why do I keep listening to the Jewish guy?
(Follows Ervine and Jones)
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Season One
Guasuka
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