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The title is what I should do. Heh, much has happened in the past few weeks. One particular thing is bothering me though...

I found out that I think Sami is totally crazy now, so even IF I decided to try and mend the wounds from the past she's too nuts to even carry a conversation with. I also ended up trying to be with Melanie after all. Eventually she flat out told me no. It's kinda funny, I thought for once I had the upper hand, there. Oh well, thought wrong. On a non-love note, I can't seem to be with any of my friends either. My best friend lives so far away, and me and his friend live closer to him. And my only other friend, Melissa... She is always too busy for me...

Anyway, besides all that, what's really bothering me is my dear friend, Anna. Anna um... Took her own life Friday, January 19th, 2007. She sent me a rather disturbing Goodbye/Apology letter here on Gaia. Scrambling for my phone, when I call her mother... Well, you can pretty much guess where that's going, no need to give my reader these same nightmares. I can't get to her funeral... It's going to be held in her birthtown, which is in New York City. I could normally go, if I had better notice. But now... now I can't.

A seperate note, adding to my distraught... My parents got into it big and... *Ahem* Loudly again. (I know, what else is new) Long story short, my father decides he's moving to Florida. (He's said this before but he came right back) That's where his "Mistress" and second family is. Normally this wouldn't bother me much, but now... I dunno, I guess I miss him more than I thought I would... On a bright side, he decided to leave his car. But nobody here can drive a Stick. He decided to teach me before he left. And give me the car. Title and everything. So, I got my temporary permit and started practicing. I should have a License soon with a car. A crappy, old car, but a car none the less.

Anyway... now I just feel... Alone. I feel I have no one... I've some really good internet friends. Lanna, Jessica, Grace... But... I dunno, I feel completely abandoned. I'm not used to like... crying. I haven't actually cried for years now. It hurts, and I don't like it. I can't even sleep WITH my expensive a** Insomnia pills...

I need to buck up. I'm a soldier, these things shouldn't bother me. I should be strong...