Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Wow, alot has happened recently. Mostly good news, actually. A welcome change, I must say. Warning: This may take awhile. (What else is new, right?)

First and foremost, I must pay respect to Anna. Mentioned in a past journal entry, Anna Marie Carson was a dear friend of mine who recently passed. Originally the younger sister to another passed friend of mine, Carmen Marie Carson, Anna became one of my most cherished friends. I felt her and Carmen to be my own sisters. Of course, it pains me dearly to lose not one, but both of them. But hopefully they are together and in a better place now. Rest in peace, Anna. You had a hard life on a rough road. Just know I love you and I'll always be here... You too, Carmen. Don't think I've forgot about you. Relax and let me finish the work.

Now for a little back-story. My girlfriend following Sami was Melanie. Probably my first true love, I dated Melanie for quite awhile. Well, Melanie introduced to me to a good friend of hers who became a good friend of mine, Allanah. Eventually, Melanie left me for.... Well, let's not get into all that depression. I continued to talk to Allanah, but obviously the relationship got awkward. Her best friend was my ex, ya know? Also, there was a time that when Melanie left me (A time before the final time; an off and on kinda thing.) and I started getting a little crush on Allanah. I firmly ignored the feeling, thinking it'd be awkward and I still wanted to be with Melanie at the time.

More back-story, this time about Allanah. 'Lanna had been dating this guy Mike. This guy... Sheesh... She'd been dating him for like, 5 years. I'm not even exagerating, (sp?) she dated him for a LONG time. See, this guy had never even called her. He would never log onto the internet for her, or anything like that. To get the full extent of my dislike for this guy, I'd have to explain ALOT of how bad he was to Allanah. Jealousy aside, she needed to get away from this... Gah, let's hush before I get angry.

Well, the drama with Sami happened and Allanah was there to comfort me, as usual. Come to think of it, she was ALWAYS there to comfort me. Well, an earlier journal of mine mentioned me trying to patch things up with Melanie and eventually trying to be with her. Allanah desperately wanted the relationship between me and Melanie to work, so she was all for it. Well, the morning after Anna died I found out Melanie was just toying with my emotions and I was just in a love triangle of hers. Needless to say, I was upset. I started thinking about how lonely I was, Sami, Melanie, Anna, everything just had me all kind of messed up. Allanah could obviously see it. Everyone could. She told me to call her and talk to her. I actually didn't want to at first. I felt it was pointless and a waste of time. But after talking to her I felt much better.

Well, it's been about... Two weeks or so? I feel... Radically different. I realized that I don't hate Sami. (Still unsure about how angry I am with Melanie.) To be honest I hope Sami can be happy... She's so hurt, it's so obvious... Our relationship was... well, who am I kidding, terrible. She was rude and mean... it never felt like she actually loved me. But I did love her, and I don't want to see her hurting, even if she did hurt me.

I got my hours back at my job and I'm told that if I can get a car I can probably become a Third Key Manager.

There's also a bit of bad news though... I can't get into it deeply without much back-story, but to make a long story short; someone from my past seems to have resurfaced with disturbing news. Luckily this person is now a friend, but the news could become dangerous easily... Let's just hope it doesn't get terribly out of hand.

Now, for the best news. Me and 'Lanna have been talking for quite some time. In fact, I think we may have talked to each other every day since Anna's death. Well, I actually started liking her a whole lot. And after deciding I wanted to take her from that thing she called a boyfriend, I actually kinda... fell in love with her. Now, maybe I fall in love too easy. Maybe it's all too soon. Frankly I don't care, though. *Laughing to myself* Apparently I'm in love again and when that happens I dedicate myself compltely to that woman. My friends and family will hate me for it.. and once again, she lives far away... But like I said, I don't care... I feel it's worth it so I'm doing it. I can't seem to tear myself away from her. *Chuckles* We talk until my phone dies, she's kicked off the phone, or one of us have no choice but to leave. I always get in a much better mood talking to her, I just want to lay and be with her all the time. OI, I get like this TOO often! I don't think it's a bad thing. Hopefully this girl won't play me so awful. I don' think she will... And I do love her. Sheesh, I'm rambling now. Until next time.