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Dude, this is frightening.

I wasn't even aware that there could be so many things wrong with a fic. I mean, I saw atrocities like Kyuubi!Sue, a Bleach and Camp Lazlo crossover, Yaoi fangirl Katara (complete with tiny minions of doom and a lovestruck Azula), but this.... this is unspeakably horrid.

Healing Rape Sex? Check (*loses 100k brain cells*)
Overly Angsty Naruto? Check
Uke Naruto? Check
Fangirl Japanese? Check
WeIrDo TiTlEs? CHECK!
"Naru-chan"? Said by Sasuke? Check
"Orbs"? Check (Homicidal-Rage-O-Meter rising!)
Serious use of the word "uke"? Check ( burning_eyes )
Naruto as a cutter? Check (EEEEEEEK!)
Emoticons in fanfiction? Check
Random A/Ns in the middle of the story? Check
Unexplained relationships popping up? Check
Flashback signal? Check
Nice Kyuubi? Check (Seriously, wtf is up with that?)
"my angel" "my dobe"? Check (*getting ready to die*)
Neji giving anyone flowers of love? Check
Naruto suddenly getting a sex change with no mentioning of the Sexy no Jutsu? Check
Naruto crying because Sasuke called him an idiot? Check
Itachi and sex? Check (Ain't he a bit preoccupied right now?)
Things that made me wince in pain? Check
*****? Check
Boasting about being OOC? Check (*brain starting to explode*)
Sasuke suddenly 'seeing the light' and giving up with the whole "ZOMG! I must avenge!" thing? Check
Sakura(*whacks crazy author* Leave Sakura alone!) and Hinata(BWUH?!) bashing? Check (*brain exploded*)


That's, like, all the major rules of Naruto... broken!!!

I'm gonna go over there in the dark corner cowering in fetal position. emo