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Hello all!

My parental units decided to invite the most annoying family members...and they're not even technically related...Oh well. Ugh and my "cousin" is ugly, fat, and stupid, the epitome of what I hate in a person. Okay, study, and lose weight, I don't know how to help with the ugly. Ugh and he's so ANNOYING...and if you know me and think I'm annoying, multiply me by 300. Yeah, it's that bad. I told Mum if he started to annoy me I was going to tapdance in the kitchen...

GR...

Anyways, at vocal lessons tonight I hit all the high notes! Yay!

I wanna go to school....


Edit:

Okay, so last night I was watching something on YouTube from Wicked and I was singing along with it, because all I was watching it for was the choreography, so I was singing with it. Then my sis asks "Why bother putting it on if you're going to sing with it?" And I replied "I already know all the words-" At which point, she cut me off and said "Obviously not, you forgot the words at your audition." And that REALLY hurt me...I cried. I didn't want to, but I went to my room and cried...that b***h. She's always like that. Telling me I'm fat and ugly and I'll never get a boyfriend...and half the time I just agree with her to get her to shut up but the other half I believe her. I've developed an inferiority complex because of a preppy 15 year old who is so stuck up, she doesn't care about anyone else's feelings. I stayed up until 4am because I couldn't fall asleep last night. I wrote about 10 more pages of my fanfic...and I think my friend is right. I'm beginning to get stuck in my fantasy world, not knowing the difference between it and reality. Of course the fantasy world is preferable. Why do you think I write? To escape. If I didn't write, I'm sure I'd be an alcoholic or do drugs, but I don't because I have a pen and paper. I'm at my wits end. My freshman year, I had imaginary friends from my stories...I know that's horrible. I had no real friends - so I created some. And they liked me for who I was. I talked to them on a daily basis...they'd comfort me and tell me I was better than those who teased me. They filled the void.

Of course, I have real friends now, but I still revisit some of my old friends...the ones who don't exist. I know that's bad, but I can't help it. They were the only ones I could turn to, really. We used to make fun of my sister, imagine what would happen if we shaved her head...we laughed about that for quite some time. So if you see me writing, one of the characters in the book is always me, even if he/she has a different name. So, if I'm writing, please leave me alone. I'm talking to my friends that I have neglected for some time...and if I don't eat while I'm writing, please don't worry about that either. Once in 9th grade I didn't eat for a week because I was too busy writing...and the lack of food made me tired, and when I get tired, I sleep. Then I dream...I love to dream because I control what happens. It's up to ME. I can do whatever I want...and it won't hurt anything. So...I'll continue to write...to escape...