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For ages life had got better for me, I still had problems and my biggest worry were my friends problems. My life it simple, school then internet and going out on the weekends or holidays sometimes. I met a boy named Jared as many of you know is an infantilist like me, he has such an innocent soul. We met and he introduced to the the shounen ai clubhouse. There I met many friends I so love very much its also the place were I met my soul daddy.

My friends at the shounen ai clubhouse, my friends in school, my friends in Flowwers, and my soul famally members; all I care about.

I have some problems of course. My mum doesn't understand infantilism so doesnt like it, she got rid of all my infant stuff except soft toys.

I feel lonly often, alot of my friends I so wish I could see. My biggest wish is to have wings and fly over the world, how cool would that be?

I hate school, alot I'll fail in except for the things that will possably help in my life, who knows though. I hate some of the people in my school and alot of the teachers are too stupid and never realise whats going on. They really don't understand much either. In my last lesson science someone threw sometime at my head and while walking to this computer lesson someone chuck half a brick at me.

There are problems going around with some of my friends I see on the weekend, it seems ok now.

I had a great 3 day weekend. Though everytime I got home I didn't feel good. (Monday was a bank holiday)

I learnt my soul mummy would be leaving for a group famally thing to help her out with something as her mother can't do much herself. She doesnt give a damn about her child having someone as her soul child. Again someone who doesnt understand..pfft grown ups XD

Her mum changed her mind though so now she didn't have to go. Im going to send a letter explaing who I am and stuff to her mum to see what happens.

My soul daddy has gone to Cal, and Disney Land there X3
Thats great for him, I miss him of course but its okie.

I suddenly have alot of problems with trust.

My soul brother has forgiven me and I really haven't done anything wrong he says. We had a nice talk over things.

A very good friend who is also like famally I love him so much, he is having so many problems, it worries me loads. One problem inparticullar he didn't want to talk about. I asked someone about it and I found out what was going on (Though I already had a hunch about what is was) it seems ok now I think. Though when he found out I new (I told him) he got really mad, and its sort of shooken me up a bit. I went around behind his back asking about his problem. I really only wanted to ask about it and help cause I was so worried but I should not have.

I think he doesnt mind about it at the moment though is proberbly still mad, I haven't really talked to him.

I haven't been talking as much on the internet and have been getting off earlia then usuall.

Sometimes I think everthing over and over at night, I sometimes cry at night and for the past few nights I have not been able to get to sleep properly. I am rather tired now.

Things seem silly right now and I feel upset and am worrying so much. I am also very scared. I felt before I was going to lose my whole soul famally all at once. I dunno really what to think right now.

For now Im just going with the flow...
...just hope things won't get worse, not just for me but for everyone...

That is all I suppose

I SERIOUSLY HOPE WHAT IT SAYS IN THJALFI'S JOURNAL IS NOT TRUE crying
ITS HER BIRTHDAY TOMORROW

Rest in peace Thjalfi Farbauti V____V.........T________T
Happy birthday...rest in peace
we all love you and always wil heart heart heart heart