So,I think this is my first entry after my mom has died.I just feel so odd.I keep thinking about the future,is it because the past is painful still? I've had some wonderful times with her,and I'm really unhappy those have come to an end.Still,the last thing I heard her say was "I can't take this anymore".Is she 'in a better place',or is she 'in hell'?It hurts less just to think of her as gone.
_________________I'm trying to stay positive and happy,but people keep cracking my shell.I feel like my mind is a castle,with each section of my life as a pillar of support/part of the bricks.Each time someone says,"Hey,if you need someone to talk about it,I'm here",or "You're just pushing your emotions back,and that's not healthy",it puts cracks in my foundation.I've already begun repairing,but there's only so much I can do in such little time.
_________________I contacted a program that will help in sending me to Austria to teach English.The spokesperson was expecting a full grown adult,not a 16 year old girl,hehe.I wish the next 10 years would hurry,because by the end of that I will be moved in and settled into Austria.Sure,I love the US and will miss it,but I need more from life than I can get here.Plus,if I teach them to communicate with more of the world,we're one step closer to world peace.
Stulluna Community Member 
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