Update on Current Life.
I'm seventeen years of age now, thank goodness for that.
Just one more year, I'm done with highschool and I'm out of this house.
Hopefully.
I've spoken to the past and though feelings still linger within me,
my human instincts take over.
I move forward, not looking back unless I want to take that chance.
So I was dumped on my birthday, and sometimes I cry for I rethink of what went wrong. But..., I'll get over it. I'm already numbing to the thought of him.
This past week was not horrible to say, but its events weren't not that great.
Tuesday 12/8/09, I got an unexpected kiss from the past and my friend was pretty upset about the 'battle scar' on my neck.
But its my life right? And its my past, and if I wish to kiss it once more, than so be it.
Wedesday 12/9/09, I was nervous for this day. Today I would see someone I was interested and wanted to take a chance with him.
His name is Angel.
But I call him by his first name.
We were once an item but we went our seperate ways and now here we are again. I made him a card, kinda crappy but most people who say it claimed it was cute.
Still, I wish I had a job to give him something better than a homemade card.
Anyways, I was thinking of how I would see him and how things would unfold that afternoon, but at school, people are speaking about me.
Speaking about my 'battle scars' and who had done it and why one person in specfic were pissed at me.
My best friend, no she's not even a best friend. She's more like a sister to me. My sister was talking about what had happened...
I coudn't believe it but that didn't mean I believed the rumored words.
Still, it was ******** stuipd on how rumors fly and the past and I are revealed.
I confronted my 'sister' by giving her a call and though she cried and claimed things, I kept my emotions sane and calm. I don't recall yelling nor cussing, maybe a little. But not calling her anything.
I stated my side, I wanted things to change...
even if she be out of my life.
I love my 'sister' to death, I really do. Any day I would take a bullet for that girl. She's putten up with me since day 1 and I have for her.
But lately, she's been depressed and I have a hint why she is, but she's been giving grief to all her friends.
Been quite messy with her emotions. And before the rumors even kissed the air, and the past had posioned me, it seemed like she was mad at me.
Now she is skipping school, claiming that she might leave Taft and be a loner for the rest of her life.
This pisses me off...
but what can I do?
She clearly won't respond to me or her other friends messages, so why even stay?
I've come to the point in life to where if someone won't understand my side, I drop them.
Its a b***h move,
but this drama s**t its just not for me.
If I can't be treated right, than ******** it.
I have people who have always been there for me, that don't end up crying or spreading lines about me.
They come to me and say the s**t I'm doing that is bothering them to my face.
They're straight up.
And I like that.
so maybe its best Jade drops me from her life, after all...
She seems like she doens't care.
And maybe I shouldn't either.
I've lost friends this year, one more will hurt..but
I'm growing up and I've accepted everything happens for a reason.
And people come and go.
But I guess I'm grateful for the memories I have.
They'll alway be alive in my memory...
View User's Journal
|
MCR♥
"Be yourself, don’t take anyone’s s**t, and never let them take you alive." –Gerard Way