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my grandmother died this weekend while i was at matsuricon. the funeral's tomorrow. i'm honestly just exhausted right now, but i wanted to check in and make sure the rest of the world was still turning, because mine is jarred to a halt, with a side-tilt and some flames too.

apartment fell through, so i'm still looking and finishing packing. it's been a fun week, both sacrastically and seriously. Matsuricon was nice, i made some money, made some friends, and had lots of people dropping off toilet paper from the hotel's bathroom after aunt mary called with the news friday afternoon. yay for being reduced to a crying mess of humanity. crying

gram and i said our goodbyes before i left thursday morning. i told her i was leaving, and she nodded and said "alright, goodbye," and then she tugged on my arm to lean closer, and she said quietly "i won't be here when you get back," and i started crying and told her i knew that was possible, and it was okay, and she just nodded and gave me a hug, and i had to leave to catch the bus. it would have happened had i been there or not, and we were both okay with that, the end had been near for a while, and at least now she's no longer in pain or miserable like she had been.

i really needed the money from the con to be able to afford a place to stay for a few months, and thankfully i made enough, now the only problem is finding a place that will rent to a woman with destroyed credit, no work history for four years, and no current employment other than self-employment as a seamstress and artist.

wish me luck.